It is often said that laughter weakens, so if you want a good way to get rid of a few extra pounds, we recommend our selection of diet jokes. They are perfect for laughing and, who knows, you may even lose weight like that, because you forget to eat while reading them…
A recently married young woman calls her mother and complains about her new husband:
– I can’t stand Jake at all. He is always so ill-tempered that I also became terribly nervous…. I also lost a lot of weight because of this.
– Why don’t you leave him then? my mother asked.
– I will do so, but first I wait to reach 50 kg, so that I have an advantage too!
A “plump” woman goes to a psychologist: Doctor, I think I suffer from bipolar disorder, I hate to gain weight, but I love to eat.
It is said that in order to reach the ideal weight, I have to eat 3 times a day. Okay, but no one says anything about how much to eat at night, when I read some diet jokes…
I really don’t understand why no diet helps me lose weight. I follow them all to the comma, without cheating. Look, today, for example, I finished the 2-week diet in just 3 hours. But in vain, I climbed on the scales and it looks 3 kilos more.
Two friends are talking to each other
– I mean how, girl, how? Did I go to the doctor and he told me I was too fat and to give up sweets? I who eat cake only twice a year? When is my birthday and when is it not
The husband is asked by a neighbor and family friend of the spouses:
– Why did you buy your wife a horse?
– The doctor recommended it. He said that if he rides, he loses weight.
– What are the results?
– Thank you: the horse has lost weight…
Question: How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow? the whole? Answer: one, provided no one looks.
-My dear friends, I’m on a diet, but I promise you that after it’s over I’ll invite everyone to a barbecue with me. You bring meat, salt, toothpicks and a diet book to me.
How do you tell your girlfriend she’s gained weight?
– You’re pretty much everything I’ve ever wanted.
Do you know what Santa said when he saw you eating? Oh, Hooo! Hooooooo!
