To be or not to be… psychology jokes
A guy goes to a psychologist because of stress:
– Doctor, give me some advice!
Doctor: I have only one concern, and I assure you I do not make psychological jokes with you.
Funny psychological jokes
If you were to go home at night, your wife would greet you with hugs and kisses, would serve you a tasty dinner, and fulfill all your intimate fantasies.
What would you believe in the first phase?
– That I was wrong, of course…
A young man makes an appointment at a psychological office.
-What is the problem?
– Looks like I can’t make friends. Can you help me, more baldy?
At a job interview:
– I see you were hired as a receptionist in a psychologist’s office.
Why didn’t you stay there?
– I had no choice because I was the main hero in psychological jokes. W
hatever I did, I got a diagnosis.
– How so?
– If I was late, he would tell me I was hostile.
If I got there early, I was anxious; if I arrived just in time, he would tell me I was obsessive.
I present you a new character: Helen Keller. Read the best jokes about her.
– The psychologist recommended an excellent method to fall asleep when I have insomnia.
– Yes?! What should you do?
– Number up to 3 and then fall asleep instantly.
– Incredible! And does it always work?
– Only sometimes. Yesterday I had to count until 4 in the morning.
-How do you know who the psychologist is in a crowded elevator?
– When a woman enters the elevator, he is the only one who observes the men.
One ins, the psychoanalyst:
– Doctor, I think I’m a dog!
– Okay, lay down on the couch. Let’s see what it’s all about.
– I’m not allowed on the couch !!
The psychiatric ward’s door opens, and a man enters four paws with a cable in his mouth.
Funny and short psychology jokes
The psychiatrist:
– Wow! But who came to us?
A psychologist?!
The man is silent and continues to crawl in four limbs to the corner of the cabinet.
The doctor follows him: – Wow! Is it a fluffy puppy?!
The man still ignores him and moves quietly near the wall to the other corner.
The doctor insists:
– Ah, how could I not have realized?
You’re a pony, aren’t you?
The man tactfully pulls the cable out of his mouth and says:
With all due respect, doctor, do you let me pull your cable for the net or come after the program’s hours?
Psychiatrist:
– Tell me everything from the beginning in chronological order!
Patient:
– Well, in the beginning, I created Heaven and Earth.
And immediately after that, problems began to appear!
Think twice with this psychological jokes
An ins enter the dentist’s office:
– Doctor, I think I’m a moth!
Dentist: I think you missed the door.
Actually, you wanted to go next to the psychiatrist’s office.
Patient: Yes, I know, but here was the light, I am looking for Colonoscopy jokes.
When it comes to psychological jokes, there seem to be plenty.
Everyone knows a few psychological jokes, and these attract, every time, grumbling laughter.
Even psychologists or psychiatrists, the “heroes” of these psychological jokes, believe that laughter is doing well, so why not make the most of it feel good?
And if that means saying or listening to psychological jokes, all the better.
We have also prepared a selection of psychological jokes, only good to make you laugh at the saturated and leave the worries aside.