Jokes with movies, actors and TV stars
Sean walks down the street and sees a snail.
Inspired by his famous character, but also a big fan of movie jokes, he decides to recommend:
– Bond, James Bond!
– Snail… Cod snail!
Funny movie jokes
– There are three places where I would like to be kissed, says Angelina Jolie, the director who courtesy her.
– Which? he asks excitedly.
– Paris, Las Vegas and Rio de Janeiro!
When Chuck Norris also goes shopping, all the stores go bankrupt.
Two friends, like girls, also talk and read movie jokes.
– After acquiring so much film culture, I can say that my husband is the best mix between Dr. House, Mr. Bean and Brad Pitt.
– You read too many movie jokes.
Are you telling me that you have a doctor man, intelligent, nice and funny, handsome and with a perfect body?
– How can you believe that?
He’s just lame, arrogant, ugly, funny, narcissistic, and drugged.
George Clooney sees a stranger on the set.
– Who are you? The actor asked.
– I’m your double, replacing you in dangerous scenes, but now that I don’t have a scene, I’m reading some movie jokes.
– Perfect. Leave the movie stories, and in the next hour
I would ask you to go over to my wife and explain where I was last night.
Two doubles of well-known movie stars were waiting to be asked and talking in the caravan while reading a movie joke magazine:
– Do you know what a great actor must be like?
– Not.
– To speak loudly and clearly and not be hindered by the furniture on the stage.
The director tells a well-known actress, but a little stupid of her kind:
– If you listen to me in everything, we will have an Oscar!
– Yes, I agree. But if she’s going to be a girl, what name are we going to give her?
– I told you a thousand times, the director shouted at the actress, who seemed a bit moody.
I’m not making jokes with movies here! Understand: you play the role of an abandoned woman, do you understand?
– Yes…
– Think about it, your boyfriend suddenly left you.
What do you do if you are in this situation?
– I’m finding another one.
Johnny arrives at a reception to which he had been invited and where the public had been promised that he would have special moments with movies.
– Master, you are late.
What happened?
– Nothing, I just didn’t want to come.
Movie Jokes for Kids & Adults
Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone sat on the beach, reading a joke magazine with movies and other can-cans. At one point, Sly asks:
– Bruce, how long does a fool live?
– Why, Sly? Are you sick?
The double of Johnny Depp from the movie “Pirates of the Caribbean” called him in the middle of the night:
“Do you know what I’ve always wondered?”
How do tall actors like you manage to sleep when it is clear that no blanket can cover them from neck to toe?
Johnny Depp answers in amazement:
– Are you crazy? It’s 4 in the morning!
– So you can’t sleep? Is it because of the bed?
We all appreciate a good movie and have our preferences in terms of genres.
But nevertheless, we can’t help but be delighted when we read some of the best jokes in the movie. We present some of them to you in the rows below.
A fierce gangster with a look that froze everything around had also entered to see a movie for the first time.
Suddenly he angrily leaves the room after half an hour and goes home:
– Give me my money back right away.
I don’t like this movie mess!
Trembling in all his wrists, the cashier hands him five dollars.
– You didn’t get it right, lady. It’s not a movie joke here! Not just mine, all the spectators!
Johnny was contacted by American producers to be one of the main characters in the most famous Christmas movie:
Alone at home!
But, unfortunately, he had to refuse because he has concerts all December and doesn’t have time to go to the movies!
After much research, scientists have concluded that the only film that has been aired more times than Home Alone is just the Young and Restless series.
Friday night.
Husband and wife watching movies on TV.
Obviously, one of horror.
Suddenly a monster appears on the screen.
Wife:
– Oh, my mother!
Husband:
– Yes, I can’t contradict you. The resemblance is really striking.
Two friends, like the boys, go out to the movie:
– I bought my wife a diamond ring and she hasn’t spoken to me in two weeks.
– Why?
– Well, if that was the deal!
Dirty movie jokes
Call 911 in a day.
– I want to go to my lover’s and watch a movie. What should I write in the statement?
– Stay home. We will send you a volunteer immediately…
A boy and a girl were also in the movie.
The boy starts kissing and caressing her.
– First of all, I’m a virgin!
– Good! I see you’re in the mood for a movie joke! Either, then, come last…
A dad with the boy also goes to the movies and watches a very successful western, with many Indians and cowboys, and finally, all the cutlery.
– Why do they paint their faces, Daddy? The little one is curious.
– They’re preparing for war, son.
The next morning, the little one quickly enters his parents’ room.
– Daddy, Daddy, let’s pack our bags and leave quickly!
– Why?
– Because my mother went into the bathroom and is preparing for war!
I don’t understand why all women want love like here that I see in the movie.
It never lasts more than two hours.
Five things you learn when watching Indian movies:
1. One of the twins must be born evil
2. When you detonate a bomb, it doesn’t matter what you cut… you will always be able to hit the right one
3. The main character does not suffer at all when he is beaten but rolls in pain when the main heroine cleans his wound
4. A detective can only solve a case when he is beaten.
5. If you decide to start dancing like crazy on the road, everyone you meet already knows the steps of dancing