Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny jokes that will make you laugh with tears

What does little Johnny do when he gets to school?
Talk to your colleague to copy at the next exam.

Why is little Johnny little?
Because he’s a kid

How does Little Johnny have fun at the pools?
He puts on his briefs and jumps into the pools.

How does little Johnny get dirty?
They play in the mud.

Once said, little Johnny
What would it be like to be an adult?
That’s great!
Ha ha, he doesn’t know what to expect.

Why is little Johnny wearing braces?
I don’t know, ask him.

Why do so many people call him Johnny?
Because they want to stay with the little soul

Johnny was once in the woods, and he met the bear.

She greets him and goes with him to pick blackberries.

The bear notices that Johnny has a big appetite and directs him to smaller bushes.

So, Johnny leaves and goes to the Super Market. The bear sees him with two big blackberry sacks and sighs badly.

 

Little Johnny, happy, goes shopping and tells Maria:
– I have two news items for you, one good and one bad!
– What’s the wrong thing?
– I spent all your money on the card!

– And what’s the good one?
– I still love you, so poor as you are.

– Little Johnny, stop drinking. Alcohol kills!
– No water has made anyone immortal!

At school, the teacher asks Little Johnny:
– Little Johnny, did you read “Winter on the Yard”?
– Have you, teacher, made jokes with Little Johnny with me?

I didn’t even read at the beach this summer, and they asked me if I read Winter on the couch.

Funny little Johnny jokes

– Little Johnny, do you know what abstract means? The teacher asks.
– Yes. What cannot be achieved surprises Little Johnny with his answer?
– Excellent.
Can you give me an example?
– Dad’s fire and salary!
Little johnny jokes for kids

Little Johnny meets his friend, Mikel:
– My father is a very good man. He is also good at math.
– I know what you want to say! Until two years ago, he was my father.

At the time of religion:
– Little Johnny, why did God first create man?
– He wanted the man to talk freely once in his life.

Little Johnny’s father buys his car, a Smart. Then, he takes his son for a walk.
Johnny, ecstatic, always looks out the window:
Is that huge thing on the right of the Great China Wall?
– Not my love, it’s the border. I didn’t leave Mexico. Little Johnny jokes are always immortal.

Little Johnny jokes have always been the favorite of people. More than that, the jokes with little Johnny do not show that they are over. On the contrary.

Who doesn’t know at least a few jokes about the famous character?
If he doesn’t know – what we doubt, he quickly invents a few, and that’s it.

The problem is solved. We also have our selection of jokes, and the jokes with Johnny are a place of honor.

We invite you to discover only a small part of them, just a few lines below.

Johnny dies and arrives, surprisingly, in Heaven. As he enters the gate of Heaven, he is amazed. All the women there normally went a few steps and then turned 1-2-3. St. Peter sees that he is somewhat perplexed and walks toward him.

So does, little Johnny asks him:-Why are these women doing this?
– Every time they cheat on their man so many times, they make a grave.
– God, it’s good then that my wife isn’t here!
– Oh, Johnny, how can it not be? We wouldn’t have air conditioning here if she weren’t your wife!

At the biology school, she asks little Johnny a joke:
Q: Come on, little Johnny, who introduced acupuncture in our country?
B: Yes, Vlad Tepes

– Johnny, do you know that condoms are standard?
– Get out of here.
It’s too much like in Johnny’s jokes!
– See, it means you don’t run it to the end.

The bubble goes into the desert. At one point, dying of thirst, he sees a fountain and starts running toward it, shouting: “water, water!”.
Then one of the fountains shouts, “where, where?”

And, our favorite of all the little johnny jokes:
The bubble was at sea, with one hand swimming and the other kicking.

The ophthalmologist:
“Doctor, if I bend down, when I get up, I see some lights in front of my eyes,”
said little Johnny jokes:
– Prescribe some glasses for you!
In a week, the two meet again.
– Well, how do you feel with glasses?
Do you still see those lights?
– Alas, doctor, you have done real miracles with your glasses.
Now I see them much more clearly!

Teacher Maria tells the children about the photos taken at school:
– Look, in 20 years, you will take the album in your hand, look at the photos, and say:
“This is Ileana – now she is a doctor, this is Alex – now she is a businessman …”
Little Johnny says: “This is the teacher, Maria. She died a long time ago.”

Johnny’s father takes him to an important discussion and tells him;
– Bubble, son, I’m sorry you have to know, but I was born in Chornobyl.
Sorrowful, Johnny lowers his head and cries.
Dad adds:
– Bubble, wait, I’m not done. Your mother was born in Hiroshima.
The bubble, when it hears, lowers its second head and cries…

The officer at the recruiting center asks little Johnny:
– Recruit, what’s wrong with you?
– It’s an artificial eye …
– And what is an artificial eye made of?
– From the bottle, officer.
– Yes, of course.
It means you have to see through it! Apt!

“At the table, welcome to the table, little Johnny, ” the host added timidly: “Do you mind if we are 13 at the table?”
– No, as long as you don’t have only 12 servings.
Are you a fan of little Johnny? Check more jokes for kids

Little Johnny’s mother surprises her and buys him a Halloween costume, only good for scaring his friends.
– Mom, I think the price tag should be removed, right?
– No, Johnny, let it be so.
We must frighten your father too!
– Little Johnny, which animal attaches most to humans?
– Lipstick.

Little Johnny, dressed in four needles and a bold, is in a pharmacy and asks pharmacists:
– Do you have fish?
– But sir, do you not see that there is a pharmacy here?
– I do not care. I asked you if you have fish!
– No, we have no fish!
– Well, then, today, I am your fish.

Dirty little Johnny jokes collection

Mom to his kid: Johnny, you come dirty from football.

Yes, of course, this was a great day. I scored three goals and was the match man.

OK, through your dirty clothes and I will clean them.

Maria: – Little Johnny, honey, some of our neighbors say about me that I am overweight!
Little Johnny: – Dear kid, ignore it.
Come on, take two chairs and come to me to watch the movie!

 

Always immortal little Johnny jokes

 

Everybody heard at least one little Johnny joke. There are so many that no one can claim that he knows them all, especially since little johnny jokes always appear.
We also have a selection of jokes with Johnny, only good to make you laugh on saturates.

– Mom, do the hens drink gas?
– No, Johnny! But how did that idea come to you?
– Well then, why are eggs expensive? How many times is it announced on TV that gas is expensive?

Little Johnny enters the wave-swirl in a shop and, after spinning around an inflatable doll for about 15 minutes, asks the seller:
– When is it manufactured?
The seller checks in the computer and answers:
– January 10, 2019.
– Oh, no! Capricorn, no!
Aries, do you have any?

– Grandpa, what are you doing on the computer?
– I’m watching a historical movie, Johnny.
– You see, you’re wrong. This is a good movie.
– Eh, granddaughter, it’s history to me!

Little Johnny, newly married, goes to tears with her mother and tries to break the shirt on her:
– Mom, Johnny beat me.
– How? Just went away yesterday!
– I thought so too!

Johnny, timid of his kind, go to the brothel:
– Are you nervous, my dear?
– Yes, there are few.
– Is this the first time for you?
– No, I’ve been nervous before.

Johnny kid:
– Honey, give me a compliment!
Johnny:
– You have an extraordinary man!

Johnny and Maria are also at the table, as the girls:
– My bubble speaks in my sleep, girl! Your lover, right?
– Mine is more passive. Just smile!

– Johnny, what would you like us to do together in the new year?
– Well, Maria, let’s do something we’ve never done before!
– What the?
– I drink quietly, and you shut up.- Madam teacher, why did I take 4 for the test?
– Because the fish have gills, Johnny, not women in the product.

Any novel can boast that it knows a few Little Johnny jokes, and every day new ones appear more and more.

In fact, little Johnny is the best-known character on the banks, and his fame has exceeded the country’s borders so that some foreigners taste the best Little Johnny jokes. Short jokes are right here.
Many Little Johnny would write whole books to cover them all. However, it seems that the imagination has not dried yet, and that’s why new Little Johnny jokes are published on the Internet or in the pages of newspapers.

 

It is also normal. There are no jokes with a bad bubble. All are great and make you laugh with tears.

We also offer you a selection of the best Little Johnny jokes and an invitation to some moments of good mood.

 

You never get bored reading little Johnny jokes

 

Little Johnny, the favorite hero of people’s jokes, whose fame has spread abroad.

There are so many jokes about Johnny that it’s impossible to put them all together in one book.

Each of us knows at least a few, but it’s not a problem because there are always new ones, only good ones to make you laugh to the fullest.

We grouped some of them, which we found very funny, in the selection below.

The kid, on the phone:
– Hello, my darling! I just called to tell you I love you…
– I think you got the number wrong! Here is a brewery in New York!
– Know…

Johnny and Juana, married, have seven children. At a family party, Juana announces that she is pregnant again.
Annoyed, one of the family’s friends asks Johnny:
– You already have seven children. So why did you decide to have another one?
“We’ve had diapers since the last one.”

– Mom, why is the stove so dirty?
– Your father made his omelet while I read some jokes with Johnny!
– And he doesn’t know that’s what the pan is used for?

– Joana, did we buy ourselves some drones?
I don’t know.
– No, Johnny, but why?
“Then I think the fan came off the ceiling.”

The little kid tells the seller:
– I’d like to buy five rolls of toilet paper, please.
– What color? The saleswoman asks.
– Let it be white as I color it!

He feels a little sick and goes to the doctor.
He looked at him and shouted:
– Sister, can you bring me the instruments, please?
To which he wondered:
– Doctor !!! I’m half dead, and you’re burning to sing !?
Don’t you want to read some little Johnny jokes if I’m still here?

Logic teacher:
– The schoolyard is 48 meters long and 25 meters wide. How old am I?
“44, Professor,” Johnny replies.
– Perfect, little. It’s fantastic!
Now, explain to your colleagues how exactly you appreciate it!
I have a half-crazy neighbor like you, and he’s only 22!

A child sits at the table with his parents:
– Mom, you always say Uncle Ion is a good man.
– That’s right.
Why do you lock him in the closet every time Dad comes home and not let him go until he starts reading little Johnny jokes in the bathroom?

Johnny takes pictures of the lake at a beautiful sunset. His wife shouted at him at one point:
– Bubble, my mother is drowning fast!
Little Johnny answer answers calmly:
– In vain, I just received a message that I have insufficient space on the card!

In the Stone Age, little Johnny was at school. Suddenly there is a scream in the school.
– Johnny, what are you screaming about? the teacher asks him.
– Forgive me, teacher, but George’s daughter fell on my leg.

Little Johnny, for a psychological evaluation:
– Were there any cases of mental illness in your family?
– Three years ago, my sister refused to marry an old, paralyzed billionaire…

 

Always immortal in the hearts of all people… little Johnny jokes

Little Johnny! The favorite character of many people who never miss an opportunity to crack a few little Johnny jokes.
There are a lot of banks with nice characters, so it is impossible for there to be one person who knows them all.
But we have also grouped your most successful ones in the selection below.

At work:
– Little Johnny, you sit for half an hour with the phone to your ear and don’t say anything… Why? Is there a problem?
– No, just an ordinary quarrel with the wife!

Little Johnny and little Mike on vacation in Paris:
– How much does a room cost?
– 250 euros, with a view of the mountain!
– I’ll give you 100, and I promise that none of us was looking out the window!

Frightened by the electricity prices and eager to make more savings, little Johnny announced under the doorbell:
“Please, don’t call! I come out every five minutes!”

-Mommy, do the chickens drink gasoline?
– No, my dear, what is this? We just don’t tell little Johnny jokes here!
– Then why do eggs and meat become more expensive every time the Government increases the price of gasoline?

Little Johnny comes home from the last day of school, and his father, a well-known football player, asks him:
– Son, what’s new at school?
– I have very good news for you: they just informed me that they extended my contract for the seventh grade!!

– Dad, I want you to take me to the circus!
– No, little Johnny, whoever wants to see you, come home!
We also tell him Johnny jokes if he wants!

Bubble in biology class. The teacher wants to test him a little:
– Little Johnny, what happens if you cut off your ear?
– I don’t hear from her anymore.
Teacher: Very good. And if you cut the other one too?
– I’m blind!
Teacher: How to be blind?
– Simple, if I no longer have ears, my hat falls on my eyes.

– Where are you going so cheerfully, Johnny?
– At the rehearsals for the choir!
– And what do you do there?
– We drink cognac and play backgammon!
– And when do you sing?
– On the way, on the way back, before telling little Johnny jokes!

– Little Johnny, where is the subject when I say the sentence: “The thief stole a television”?
– In prison, teacher!

Little Johnny discusses politics with her father.
– Dad, how much does that nuclear bomb cost?
– How, how should I know?!
It could cost millions of dollars, if not more…
– Mom, what a lot, and do some people indeed want to throw it away?
– Well, that’s what they say on the news, that they want to throw it away.
– Do you hear, father? You realize that we’re all human if they throw it at us!

Good little Johnny jokes

Little Mike also discussed with Little Johnny:
– Listen, what do you wear to work?
– With force!
– I meant, how are you doing!!
– Swearing, of course!
– Well, you’re a total bull. I meant, how do you get there?
– With nerves!!

Little Johnny happily tells his mother how he spent the first day of the summer vacation:
– Mom, I did a good deed today!!
– Yes, well done, but how did you proceed, Johnny?
– Well, a little girl was running after a train, but it seemed she couldn’t reach it… then I untied our dog, and the little girl reached the train!

Little Johnny, our hero, is in a big dilemma: to die of cold this Winter or to wait until next summer to die of hunger.

– Little Johnny, explain to us how you realized that there was someone foreign in the apartment.
– Well, how can I explain to the policemen?
In our family, there is no custom of being hit on the back with a chair in the head when you come home from work.

– Little Johnny, I often see you at your mother-in-law’s grave.
What are you doing there?
– I’m going to take care of him, to do some work there.
– Laudable initiative, bravo! he said.
And how do you do?
– Eh, I pour like this, from time to time, a concrete slab over it so that the dirt does not come to the surface!

Little Johnny, do you know what it means to be a diplomat?
Yes, of course!
Think twice before and then saying nothing.

Little Johnny, do you know that Durex condoms each have a name written on them?
– Listen, are you joking with Johnny me?
How to have a name?
– It means you don’t scroll it all the way.

– Doctor, if I bend down, I see some lights in front of my eyes when I stand up, said him.
– Let me prescribe you some glasses!

A week later, the two meet again.
– Well, how do you feel with glasses?
Do you still see those lights?
I don’t even know how to thank you, doctor.
Now I see them much more clearly!

Mike asks Johnny:
– Why is your fist clenched? What are you hiding in your right hand, money?
– Not.
– The key?
– Not!
– Then what do you have?
– Paralysis.

Johnny and Mike.
– I had bad luck with both wives, and I don’t joke with you about Johnny!
Complained.
– Why? Did they die for you?
– No, but the first one ran away with the plumber!
– And the other one?
– The other one didn’t run away with anyone!

Johnny was walking down the street crying.
A passerby asks him:
– Why are you crying, Johnny?
– My father beat me.
– And now, where are you going with such determination?
– At Texas, I heard that they don’t beat anyone even after being relegated.

Johnny comes home from school crying mother of fire. The mother asks him:
– Why are you crying, little Johnny?
“How can I not cry when all the children laugh at me because my front teeth are too big”.
– Come on, that’s how they like too little Johnny jokes! Let’s be healthy, but now shut up because you’re scratching my parquet floor in the hall!

– Listen, neighbor, what do you think about this:
My son-in-law asked me for 5 million $.
– And have you seen anything from him?
– Yes, on my daughter and a book with Johnny jokes.

While some thieves were trying to open the door of Johnny’s house, one of them asked in a whisper:
– Wouldn’t Johnny be at home?
At which a muffled whisper can be heard from inside:
– He’s not at home. You can come in quietly.

Little Johnny (just returned from Spain, where he had also been working):
Hello, Mike!

Mike: When did you come back?
Johnny: Today! I stayed there for over 18 months. But, by the way!

When I left, I asked you to take care of my wife, who was five months pregnant.
So, tell me, how is it now? I haven’t seen her yet.
I’m coming straight from the airport.
Mike: Well, whatever.
You left her pregnant in the 5th month and found her pregnant in the 5th month!

Little Johnny’s father is called to the school of conductors.
He comes to school and asks:
– Mr. Director, what happened?
– I have two pieces of news, one bad and one good.
Which one do you want to find out first?
– The bad one!
– Your son is human!
– And the good one?
– He won Miss Freshman.

– Why are you late, Johnny? asks the doctor.
– Excuse me. I went to the pharmacist first.
– These pharmacists are bastards!
But, of course, I’m just talking nonsense.
And, please, what nonsense did he tell you?
– He told me to come and see you.