Maybe when you read the line above, you were a little upset.
Horse jokes?
Who has heard of such a thing?
But, in fact, they exist, and they are really funny.
We have selected some of them to convince you, which we invite you to discover in the rows below.
An Englishman asks his valet:
“John, hasn’t my wife returned from the riding game yet?”
– Not yet, sir, but I don’t think it will take longer and should show up.
The horse has been back for half an hour already…
Johnny is also in the army. The whole battalion gathered in front of the unit.
At one point, the commander comes and shouts from all lungs:
– Everyone of the horses!
All the soldiers rush and carry out the order except Johnny, who is smiling happily
.
The commander, full of nerves, asks him:
– Johnny! Why don’t you execute the order? Do you feel like I’m making horse jokes here?
Johnny answers:
– Live, Commander! I don’t fit in because I’m riding a mare, live!
Funny horse jokes
A Scotsman goes to a horse rental center.
– I’d like to rent a horse.
– Of course.
How do you want it to be: white, black, or red?
– Color doesn’t matter too much, just be healthy, because we’re six.
– Hello, how are you doing?
– I’m watching a movie.
– What movie?
– Mutant bee.
– And what is it about?
– About a herd of horses that wanted to become paratroopers.
A horse walks into a bar joke
A horse walks into a bar and asks the barman.
Where is my beer?
Two horses walk into a bar and sit at a table.
One horse ordered hay and one ordered salami.
Why do you eat salami?
Because I like my tastes
A horse enters a bar and tells a person who stays at the bar something in his ear.
The person laughs and after cry.
How did this happen?
The horse tells him that it has bigger, and the person thinks it is a joke and laughs.
In the second place, the horse shows him, and the person cries.
What did the teacher say when the horse entered the classroom?
Why do you have this long girl?
How long should a horse’s legs be?
In my opinion, long enough to reach the ground to be able to run, right?
Horse jokes puns
A horse walks into a bar and tells a pun to the barman
Why did the barman laugh?
Because he has no choice
In horse racing, two people bet on the same horse, and they lose in no time.
They went to the horse house and did not found.
The horse is still running out of racing. He just saves powers to escape.
Some racehorses are in a stable. One of them is starting to brag about his record.
“We have won eight of the last 15 races!”
Another horse also said: “Well, in the last 27 races, we won 19!”
“Oh, it’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” boasts another.
At this moment, the three horses noticed a greyhound sitting there listening to them.
“I don’t want to brag, but it’s like I’m hearing some horse jokes,”
says the greyhound:
“I’ve won 88 of them in my last 90 races!”
The three horses were really speechless.
“Wow!” says one after a silent silence. “A talking dog!”
Horse dad jokes
My dad has a horse and lets me all day to ride his horse
But why?
Because I work his land
My dad is the best because he knows to ride a horse.
And what is special about that?
Do you try to ride just once?
My dad loves horses because he likes to bet on horse racing
Why does my dad often lose at horse racing?
Because he bet on the weakest horse
I was riding a horse yesterday and noticed he had a broken leg, so I took the rifle and shot him.
All the other horses in the carousel got scared and simply froze.
– I played chess with an Englishman and got beaten up
– How so?
– He ate both of my horses.
– Why do the British hold lasagna in their hands after buying it from a supermarket?
– The halter!
Horse jokes for adults
His parents send Johnny to the butcher’s to buy meat. The bubble returns empty-handed.
“I didn’t buy it,” he says, “because I only sell horse meat.”
– How so? asks the surprised parents.
– Well, everywhere I noticed that above the hooks where the meat was hanging was written very big: horse 1, horse 2 and horse 3.
– Aha, my father concludes, they have finally started to label it!
An adult brings kids to ride horses in a special place.
The kids make him ride, too, and he regrets it in a short time because his jewelry is not good.