Heavy jokes about… elephants
We don’t know how many elephant jokes you know, but certainly not enough.
Look no further, because we have grouped the funniest ones together.
What do elephants do when they are bored?
I remember all the vacations spent in the savannah.
The elephant, at a party: “I hope you don’t mind if I leave my trunk here, it’s a bit heavy.”
What does an elephant do when it sees a puddle?
Turn it into a personal swimming pool.
What do elephants do at sunset?
They sit under a baobab tree and tell each other stories from long ago.
How do elephants keep their physical shape?
Walking a few kilometers through the savanna every day.
The elephant opened a restaurant: “All the portions are XXL, exactly to my taste.”
How do elephants express their disappointment?
“That is not worthy of an elephant.”
What do elephants do when they are excited?
He shakes his ears and moves his trunk in all directions.
How do elephants choose their homes?
“I want a place with a lot of mud, for my daily baths.”
What do elephants do when they are jealous?
He wraps his trunk around the object of desire.
Why don’t elephants go to the cinema?
Because they don’t fit in the chairs.
What do elephants do when they are nervous?
He stomps and shakes the trees.
How do elephants remember the past?
“I have the memory of an elephant, I never forget anything.”
Why do elephants not need a sleep mask?
Because their eyelids are thicker than any mask.
How do elephants react to a torrential rain?
“It’s just another opportunity to take a shower in the savannah”
Why are elephants not good at team sports?
Because it takes up too much space on the field.
Why don’t elephants wear sunglasses?
Because their look can intimidate any sun.
What do elephants do when they are melancholy?
I remember the days when the savannah was full of elephants.
Why don’t elephants take selfies?
Because it wouldn’t fit in the frame.
What does an elephant do when it sees a mouse?
“Is that big enough for a snack?”
Why don’t elephants play football?
Because a custom-made ball was not invented.
How do elephants choose their friends?
“He who can keep up with me becomes my friend.”
Why don’t elephants need pillows?
Because they can sleep on their ears.
Why don’t elephants use GPS?
Because I know the way through the savannah with my eyes closed.
Why are elephants not good at swimming?
Because they make too big waves.
How do elephants keep calm?
He lifts his trunk and breathes deeply.
How do elephants spend their holidays?
In an oasis with lots of water and shade.
Why don’t elephants play tennis?
Because he could not use the rocket with the trunk.
How do elephants express their opinion?
“If an elephant says something, everyone listens.”
Why don’t elephants go to the circus?
Because they prefer to be spectators to their own lives.
How do elephants react to something new?
“If it’s something new, I want to feel it with my trunk.”
How do elephants express their wishes?
“All I want is a big tree and generous shade.”
Why don’t elephants need an alarm?
Because the sun is always the one that wakes them up.
What does an elephant do when it sees a flower?
“It’s beautiful, but I’d prefer a whole tree.”
Why don’t elephants play chess?
Because it would be too difficult to move the pieces with the trumpet.
How do elephants express their curiosity?
Through a “nose” directed towards the object of interest.
Why don’t elephants use umbrellas?
Because the clouds are afraid of them and move away.
How does an elephant brag about itself?
“I never forget where I hid the best food.”
What do elephants do when they see an artesian fountain?
“It could be stronger if I used my horn.”
Why don’t elephants play volleyball?
Because the ball would fly too far with each shot.
Why don’t elephants build houses?
Because I can’t enter the door!
Why don’t elephants wear shoes?
Because nothing they find in stores fits them.
How do elephants react to a new food?
“If it’s not a leaf or grass, I don’t care.”
Why don’t elephants play basketball?
Because they would have to invent a much bigger basket.
What do elephants do when they are confused?
“Maybe I should follow my elephant instinct.”
Why don’t elephants use watches?
Because time passes differently in the savannah.
Why don’t elephants use selfie sticks?
Because they wouldn’t all fit in the frame.
What do elephants do when they are thirsty?
I drink water, what could he do!
Why do elephants go to the spa?
Because mud baths are the best treatment.
Why don’t elephants go to the doctor?
Because no one knows better than them what they need.