How does a dog tell you that it is hungry?
Haam, ham!
Can you understand what your dog says when she is happy?
No, but you can look at his tale.
If it is wiggling, it’s a good sign.
How do you know that your dog is in a period of pairing?
He rubs on the carpets.
Funny dog jokes
Best dog pun to tell your friend:
I have a small dog in my house. Bring him to your house and show him your pitbull.
Why do dogs like phones?
Because they have collar codes!
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to roll in squares!
What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a water buffalo?
A: A stumbling block!
What dog is having the best time?
A watchdog!
Shaggy dog jokes
Shaggi it’s the best friend of fear.
Q: What absolute TRUE dog breed lives in the city?
A: A New Yorkie!
Q: What do you get when crossing a dog with a phone?
A: A gold receiver!
Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!
Q: What did one of the fleas say?
A: Should we walk or take a dog?
Q: Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?
A: Because you might be walking in a puddle!
Q: Why can’t dogs operate the DVD remote control?
A: Because they always pressed the paw button!
Q: How am I a dog and marine biologist?
A: One puts a tail, and the other tags a whale!
Hot dog jokes
Give me a hot dog, please.
Black or white?
Not just with ketchup.
Q: Why does the dog sweat so much?
A: It was a hot dog!
Q: How do I ride fleas from one place to another?
A: By the itch!
Q: Which breed of dog does Dracula love the most?
A: Blood!
Q: What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
A: Dolls!
Q: What kind of stores do dogs love the most?
A: Retail stores!
Q: What is your favorite type of pizza for a dog?
A: Pizza with Pupperoni!
Q: What dog breed is everything red for?
A: A bulldog!
Q: What is your favorite dog tool?
A: A trombone!
Q: What did the Dalmatian flame say after the meal?
A: “That hit the stains!”
Q: What kind of market should NEVER take your dog?
A: A flea market!
Up dog joke
Q: What did he tell the dog’s waiter when he took his food?
A: Lust for them!
For dog lovers, also try dog puns.
Q: How do you name a great dog detective?
A: Sherlock Bones!
The owner takes his dog to train, and when he returns, he meets on the road with another dog, a friend of his, who asks:
– How was the training school?
– I learned a very dubious foreign language.
– Which? Tell me what you learned.
– Meow!
At the doctor:
– Doctor, my dog has no nose!
– And how does it smell?
– Terrible!
A man walking on the road sees a fence on a fence that reads,
“Watch out for the dog!” He was approaching, and in the yard was only a small puppy. Confused, the dog’s owner asks:
– Why do you have these signs on the door when you have such a small puppy?
– The sign warns those who enter to stop walking the puppy!
A gentleman walking down the street sees a lady holding a dog in her arms, a dog she is handling.
– What I wouldn’t give to be a dog instead!
– I wouldn’t want you. I’m going to castrate him.
A thief enters a house and starts stealing. He steals as he steals and hears a voice:
– Jesus is watching you!
He looks around and sees nothing. He steals as much as he does and hears the same voice again.
He looks better, and sees a parrot who tells him:
– I am Moses, and Jesus looks at you!
– What idiot is Moses parroting?
– The same fool who baptizes his brother Jesus.