Dark humor is a form of humor that approaches sensitive or taboo subjects, such as death, illness or tragedies, with an ironic or cynical attitude.
These dark humor jokes can be controversial and can provoke strong reactions from the audience, but for some, they are a way to deal with difficult subjects through laughter.
I have prepared for you a series of such benches, to see if they are to your liking or not.
What is the similarity between a bomb and a bank?
Both offer good return rates, but one is faster than the other.
What is the difference between a crocodile and your mother-in-law?
With the crocodile, at least you know that he will take something from you at an unexpected moment.
What do all people want before they die?
Long live.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
To find half of a worm.
– Look at this man who did not wear the belt: his head torn, his intestines on the windshield, his eyes in the tree, and he lost his hands.
Instead, look at the one who wore the belt: looks alive and well.
I was visiting my wife at the hospital.
Before I went into the salon, I asked the Doctor:
– What is her condition?
Is any change?
– Dear mom, I want to get married to my best friend
– Great, but he doesn’t have black hair, black eyes, and a lot of money
– No, he only has good money
Best dark humor jokes
What is a plum’s biggest dream?
To become a bottle of wine in another life.
What is the similarity between an operating theater and a children’s playground?
Both are places where parents hope nothing bad will happen.
Why wouldn’t you want to leave your car parked in front of a hospital?
Because you don’t want to make new friends at the emergency department.
What is a will?
A way to divide your wealth so that all family members don’t argue until after you’re dead.
Why do vampires like to go to parties?
Because they need dark humor jokes to keep their blood cool.
What do turtles do when they feel sad?
They retreat into their shells and read dark humor jokes.
What is the most popular song at birthday funerals?
“Happy Birthday” remixed.
A guy goes to a doctor:
– I do not know, Doctor, what I have:
My liver hurts, my back hurts, my heart hurts.
The Doctor makes his analysis and tells him:– I’m sorry you got cancer, and in three months, you’re going to die.
Leave the upset guy and meet a friend at the subway.
He tells him about a doctor’s visit and that he is ill with sickness and will die within three months.
The friend leaves quickly, forgetting to take his hand.
In the bus station, he meets another and the same story.
He gets his story to the Doctor and calls him to him:
– All right, sir, what are they talking about?
I told you clearly that you would die of cancer in three months, and you tell everyone that you will die of nice dreams?
– I know what doctors do.
I’m pretty upset!
What do you want me to do?!
Let everybody sleep with my wife?
The redneck virgin.
Funny dark humor jokes
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the Jaw.
What’s the best place to hide a body?
On the second page of Google, because the first is occupied with the best dark humor jokes.
What is the most dangerous part of a car?
The steering wheel, because it is always in the hands of the stupidest drivers.
What is the name of a horror movie for mobile phones?
“Battery level at 1%”.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
What’s the difference between Paul Walker and a PC or a computer?
I have a moment when my computer crashes.
A black guy and a Mexican man are in a car.
Who’s driving?
The cop.
The finish line at the Boston Marathon. Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was black.
How do you make a baby float?
Two scoops, baby, and one scoop of ice cream.
What do you think about the Dark Tour movie?
Don’t you see it?
Me neither
Dark humor jokes, which you probably didn’t know.
There are many dark-humor jokes, and there are many who prefer them.
Moreover, they put their imagination to the test and also managed to create a few. You probably like those dark-humor jokes, so we have some for you that you certainly didn’t know.
1. I: What’s red and sitting in the corner?
A: A baby left alone at home and licking a razor blade.
2. I: What is greenish-red and is in the corner?
A: The same baby, three weeks later.
“See what happened to me,” John tells his friend.
I was at the vigil of an acquaintance last night, and I asked the host:
– Don’t be upset.
Can you tell me the Wi-Fi password too?
This one looked at me for a long time and said:
– Respect the dead!
– OK, thank you very much.
One last question: is it written with a large R?
Just as the coffin is lowered into the pit at a grandmother’s funeral, a wreath that was not well attached begins to slip and fall after the coffin.
Another old woman hurries to catch her, and a young man can be heard from behind:
– What are you doing, mom?
Do you want to catch the bouquet?
I went to visit my wife in the hospital.
Before entering the salon, I asked the Doctor:
– How’s the Doctor? Any change?
“I’m afraid it doesn’t look good,” the Doctor whispered, looking around embarrassed.
– Ah, no problem, don’t be afraid, Doctor, I told him.
Ever since I took her, she’s been ugly.
– What would Michael
Jackson do now if he were alive?
– He would make a big hole to get out of the coffin to read what dark humor jokes are made about him.
A guy in a bar reveals himself to his colleague by the glass:
It cost me 10,000 $ when my wife was kidnapped.
I’m not sorry, though.
It was a great party!
A patient tells the Doctor:
– I’ve been to a few doctors, and none agree with your diagnosis.
To which the Doctor replied maliciously:
– OK, we’ll wait for the autopsy, and then we’ll see who said the best dark humor jokes…
– Doctor, I want to thank you for the prescribed medicine.
– It helped you, I see, didn’t it?
How much did you get from it? How many bottles?
– None.
My uncle drank one and inherited a beautiful house, answers his nephew candidly, probably a big fan of dark humor jokes.
In the plane, after the engines stopped at an altitude of 10,000 meters, the calm voice of the pilot can be heard in the speakers:
– Dear passengers, please stay in your seats to facilitate identification.
Thank you for your understanding!
For some babes, the tail is the relic.
One of them, more bored, comes up with a proposal:
-Listen to the girls.
Rather than sitting in this queue, we better kiss each other and go home!
Two babes are talking in front of the block:
– You heard, yesterday, a child from the neighboring block found a grenade on the road.
– Yeah, It sounded great!
Ended a race.
Why does a dark man have white hands?
His lawnmower.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A ripoff.
Short Dark Humor Jokes
Her boner. The Soccer Team.
Must be more than three reasons my bedroom is still dark.
You can’t unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.
With a Blender.
With Chips
What’s the best thing ever?
Throwing a dead baby off a roof.
What’s better than that?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What’s the grossest thing ever?
A bag is full of dead babies.
What’s grosser than that?
One at the bottom is still wriggling.
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Girls are like blackjack…Why do white people own so many pets?
Because they’re not allowed to own people anymore.
What do you call a child that has down syndrome? Petard
Dark humor sense jokes
Gloves! JK, he still hasn’t opened his present.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A ripoff.
I can’t see the problem calling an Australian and Aussie, a Pakistani, a Paki a Scotsman ascot.
Or a French man, a cunt.
Why won’t Monica Lewinsky vote for Bush?
Because he loves him also
What do you call a white man marrying the woman of his dreams?
Nice dreams.
Dark humor jokes are not to everyone’s liking, and not everyone loves these jokes.
On the Internet are quite a lot of jokes full of dark humor. Lovers of dark humor jokes are in large numbers.
Dark humor jokes can not be said anytime and anyway. Saying such jokes are risking certain upsetting people and your friends around you.
The best black humor jokes
Without a doubt, the ordinary novel is a joke type that does not miss any opportunity to make a little trouble. Thus appeared the dark humor, which quickly became the favorite of many. Almost everyone knows at least a few dark-humor jokes, which are easy to remember, especially because they are quite short. However, we also selected some dark-humor jokes, which you certainly did not know. Or at least some of them.
How do you know you are at a party attended by doctors?
When a glass of champagne is considered the equivalent of two medicines.
What is the difference between a veterinarian and a human doctor?
One of them can save his patients without talking to them.
What is the easiest way to keep your hands warm in winter?
To keep them in someone else’s pocket.
How do you know you’re having a good day?
When you have the impression that everything is against you and then you realize that you put your shoes on backwards.
How does a mathematician have fun at a party?
The answer depends on the variable X, where X is the amount of alcohol consumed.
The accused defends himself at the High Court: I am innocent. However, as president of the Blind Society, I was accused of spending a lot of money on absolutely useless. So, to prove to them I was wrong, we organized a magnificent fireworks display.
-What does a deaf mute do when talking to him? Does a fly enter his eye?
– He doesn’t hear you anymore
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, your fingers eat them at the evening meal.
Talk between two girls about the Halloween party.
– Girl, do I have to do something for the Halloween party?
– No, girl! Don’t forget to drop your makeup off before you come to the party.
– Where do the mummies go swimming?
– In the Dead Sea.
– How do the monsters find out about the future?
– I read the HORRORscope every day.
Dark humor in a few words
– My son, what would my ears hear? Did you get into a pop band?
– Yes. It was an old car, and they didn’t hold my brakes.
– Dear, I must admit that I am pleasantly surprised. I didn’t think our son could go that far.
– Yes, this new catapult is amazing. Go and get your daughter!
A young man, timid in his own way, takes courage and invites a young woman to dance.
– Miss, can you?
– Of course, no problem, but first dance.- Waiter, do you serve dumplings in this restaurant?
– Dear sir, we serve anyone! Take a seat!
Dark jokes easy to tell to your friends
Choose wisely the time, place, and people you want to share with these jokes.
These are extremely funny, but it has to be said at the right time.
If you like reading jokes full of dark humor, Jokes For Funny will find the best jokes we invite you to share with your friends! Dark humor is a special class of humor and is very used to describe or respond to situations where there is no apparent solution.
Individuals use instinct for such jokes when they encounter traumatic or stressful situations. Even in situations where our lives are put into play, we appeal to dark humor jokes to relax the atmosphere. However, for others, such jokes may not be fun.
John and Mary on the night of the wedding
Mary: John, did you come in?
John: Yes.
Mary: Then, Ah!
A wolf was feeding on a sheep. Then, at one point, it stopped. Why?
Because he had no worries.
For Easter, Santa comes down the stairs of a block and meets the rabbit who climbs:
– Do not do the trick to talk to the baba on the second floor!
Dark humor jokes no limits
The blind tells the deaf that the silent saw a gimp running after a man to pull his hair.
One day he was floating on the Atlantic, and with a frosty smile on his face, an iceberg tried to sink the Titanic.
However, after a while, the iceberg began to sweat so hard that it fell and smiled. What had happened? Titanic had given him fear. So he had taken her to the Tropic.- What should you do to a hippopotamus who has diarrhea?
– Place!
A bridesmaid tells the bridesmaid:
– You are dear to me!
She tells him:
– You love me too!
And they took the hand and they took the hand and they took the hand…
Two little girls in the cemetery were burying the graves of the newlywed. One of them asks:
– How much do you have, dear?
– 75. But what about you?
– 85.
– Aha, and you go home?!?
– What is small, black and with two white dots?
– A flax with wool in the ears.
Last night I was with my wife talking about euthanasia. I told her never to let me stay in a vegetative state, depend on a car, and be fed with liquids.
If I am ever in such a state, please unplug all the appliances that keep me alive.
And then she got up, turned off the TV and the computer and threw me my beer.
Why not run the snail? Don’t let his eyes flutter.
A vulture flies with an old man in its beak, and at one point, Santa says, “Vulture, admit you got lost on the way home.” Then, after 5 seconds, the poplar falls from the eagle’s beak.
Hydrogen and Oxygen were met. Unfortunately, it seems that their meeting resulted in water.
What is black and has 4 legs? A desk.
Black Humor jokes
Two friends talk on a terrace: I heard you joined a band of a rocker! Well, yes, I couldn’t put the brakes on.
What’s the difference between a truck full of dead men and a truck full of nuts? The truck with dead men can be unloaded with a fork. The one full of nuts cannot be unloaded with a fork.
When the Hungarians cross the crosswalk, they look to the left, to the right, then up.
Dark humor memes
Black humor, for white days!
Who doesn’t love to laugh? Obviously, each of us has our preferences regarding jokes, but those with black humor are a special category. So if you like it too, let’s discover some of the most successful jokes with us.
Assistance to the old man in the salon:
– Dad, did you take the suppositories I left you?
– Yes, all of them, but please, you can ask the Doctor not to give me more, because I’m so bitter!
Status of Alina on Whats’app: If anyone on my list likes cats, contact me. Maybe we can exchange recipes.
Two friends discuss:
– I heard you joined a rock band, did you?
– Yes, my brakes didn’t hold.
The angry wife tells her husband:
– Ever since we moved into this block, you’ve completely forgotten about being romantic.
It’s been a while since you last brought me flowers. Just sit and read black humor!
– What do you want, darling? You didn’t want us to move from the cemetery.
7. A guy at the library:
– Be kind. Last time I borrowed a book with black humor, now I want a book about suicides too!
– Get out of here. I won’t give you anything. I know you won’t bring her back!
A handsome comes to the king:
– I kept my promise. Here’s the kite’s head.
– Yes, I’m happy with you, so I keep my promise. Here, in the refrigerator, you have the princess’ hand! Go healthy!
What is a painter’s biggest fear?
To be caught up in a style that no longer matches the trends on Instagram.
How does a surgeon spend his free time?
Listening to opera music and cutting his cigarettes in half.
Are you among those who wake up in the morning in misery, cold and hunger?
Dude, I’m selling you a tip just for you. To get rid of all this, all you have to do is go back to bed!
Today I was the best parent, dragging my three-year-old son on a sleigh to kindergarten. After 20 minutes, when I arrived, I realized that he was no longer on the sled. So I quickly turned the car around and looked for him.
“The cigarette you hold in your hand makes you look a little taller,” I told a dwarf yesterday on the street.
“It’s not a cigarette,” he replied. I’m blind.
As president of the Society for the Blind, I have been accused of spending much money in vain. It was a great evil on their part, so I showed them that they were all wrong: I organized a magnificent fireworks display.
Bubble at school:
-Madam, can people who die still have children?
– No, why?
– Well then, why is it always reported that the dead are multiplying daily?
Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food?
No problem, not them!
What do Somalis say when they see a barcode?
Look, brother, a family photo!
What does a guitar-playing leper do?
– Chopped meat for the grill on Saturday!
Do you know what Stevie Wonder’s wife looks like?
No problem, he has no idea what it looks like, either!
Dark humor jokes result from experiences the people we have, and we ironize through them.
One very interesting thing is that, according to a new study published in Cognitive Processing magazine, there is a strong correlation between intelligence and so-called dark humor.
Dark humor jokes have been associated very often with people who have melancholy.
The study highlights a surprising thing. People who laugh at dark humor jokes are more IQ than average and have a low chance of aggression or negative states. The study highlighted that these people are generally more educated than the average.
Dark humor is considered to be a complex form of humor.
So do not worry if a chick gets a macabre joke – that does not mean you’re a bad person, but just a little smarter than the average.