My dad tells me a joke, and I am: Yes, sure, ha, ha, ha.
How does a dad make jokes? They talk about their children.
They can not make jokes about football.
How do you ask your dad to give you a ride to school?
Dad, Today I don’t want to go to school.
Funny dad jokes
What will your dad tell you on the phone when you are at work?
Do you eat Today?
How will your dad show his love to you?
He buys you a car or a house.
The best joke to tell your dad:
In the morning, I thought I wanted to go do I not know how…Dad, can you give me some advice?
Your dad: Go to your mother.
The phone is ringing.
Lifts the dad’s three-sided receiver:
– Are you my little frog? A man’s voice is heard.
– No. I am the owner of the lake! Says the dad.
Daddy, Dad, how are the kids coming up?
And the dad begins to say:
One day, a bird came up with a seed and planted it in the garden.
After nine months, my mother picked it up, so you appeared.
In the afternoon, the little girl writes in her diary:
“Today I talked about”
Love with dad. It’s dust
Dad to daughter turned late at home:
– My daughter, when I told you to come home like Cinderella.
I thought you’d come at 24:00, not that you would come with one shoe and no dress!
A little girl sees her dad out a naked rifle from the bathroom, and the opposite goes to ask his mother:
– Mommy, tell me when I’m big, I’ll have a tail between my legs, like my dad jokes.
“Yes, my daughter,” replies Mother, if you’re good, you’ll have one of the same.
If you are not good, you will have more!
Girl: “Dad, a schoolboy told me something I do not understand. He told me I had a nice windshield, luggage rack, hard chassis, and excellent shock absorbers. What this means??”
Dad:
“Tell her to dare to lift your hood to check the oil.
Then, I’ll break the exhaust pipe!”
Mom, you told me the angels have wings and can fly, okay?- Of course, my dear.
– Last night, when you were not, I heard my dad say, ‘beautiful Angel’.
When is she going to fly?
– Tomorrow morning, honey, tomorrow morning.
A kid goes into the pharmacy and asks:
“Do you have condoms?” And makes part of a dad joke.
First, the annoying pharmacist answers condoms are not for children, and secondly, tell your dad to come and buy them because they are of different sizes!
To whom the kid replies with a joke:
– First of all, condoms are not for children but against children.
For the third time, I will not tell my dad anything because I am for my mother, who goes to the delegation and has no way of knowing the size yet.
Dad and daughter are in the living room.
She is in the office. He was watching a football match.
At one point, the little daughter talks:
– I fell in love with our neighbor, and I’ll run with him.
Dad, still looking at the match, replies:
– Very well, you will not see anything from me.
I will not have time and money to invest in you, and I will not even let you go home.
Then, finally, the girl turns to him and tells him:
– Dad, I read the letter left by my mom!
Dad and the kid speak.
Son: Dad! Are all blondes having love with everyone?
Dad: Yes, my dear. Otherwise, I did not make you.
Ha, ha, ha, it was just a funny dad joke.
Do you love jokes for kids? Have a funny time with these bad jokes.
Dad, to the kid, tells a new joke:
“You will marry, son, and you will find true happiness!- Yes?
– Yes, but it will be too late! This is a good dad joke
His dad takes the child to the pharmacy and stops before the condoms shelf. The child asks his dad:
– Dad, what is that?
– Ah is the pack of two.
It’s for high school: Friday and Saturday.
– Yeah, right there?
– Ala is the four-pack.
It’s for college: Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.
– Yeah?
– Ala is the pack of 12.
It’s because you’re sorry: January, February, March…
Bill:- Dad, what does engagement mean?
Dad:
– Well (there is a long and concise explanation). Did you get it?
Bill:
– Not! Better give me an example.
Dad:
– It’s like I’m gonna take you a Christmas bike, and I will not let you ride it up to Easter!
Dad and the kid are on the balcony.
An individual appears at the corner of the block, unclenching the slot and relieving it.
Little girl, curious:
– Dad, what’s the one in your hand?
Dad, tangled:
– A toy!
Kid tells a series of jokes to his dad:
– I want a toy like his!
Dade the joker:
– When you’re bigger, you’ll have one.
But you have to be good enough to have one!
Little girl, worried:
– And if I’m not good?
Dad:
– You’ll have more! That is the best dad joke :))
– Dad, you’re called to the school.
– Why?
What have you been doing?
– Do you remember I asked you to make my composition about how I spent my vacation?
Well, the director did not like when I described the moment of a striptease!
A dad learns that his daughter is pregnant in the fifth month.
– You’re so stupid, argued he.
Where was your head?
“Under the wheel, Dad,” she said.
Funny dad jokes to tell in your family
Between parents and children, there will always be a difference in perception.
We can say that even a “war” of generations may appear as they compete with each other and start to play in various activities, games, or competitions.
These family competitions are very motivating.
Most of these occur between dads and boys because they fight for a dominant family position.
Because the boys are not just joking, we’ve gathered the best jokes and replies of daddy, who will either amuse you.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.
A great dad joke!
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me. Can I watch TV? Dad: Yes, but only my favorite TV show.
Dad jokes for kids
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impostor.
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it’s terrible.
“I’ll call you later!”
– “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in there.
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.
Where did the one-legged waitress work?
HOP
Bad dad jokes to use in a restaurant.
You’ve convinced yourself why these are among the most popular jokes online.
Every day boys receive shocking answers and reply from dads.
Are you looking for a joker with dad’s?
Perfect, get ready to laugh! When we were young, Dad was there to buy us candy, ice cream or a doll for most of us.
In my case, my dad was so fat that Santa Claus, for the whole neighborhood, just put a beard on a red suit and left with the bag in his back.
All the children were crazy about it, and the babies, of course 🙂
He had a charm of his. I feel responsible for the family, we have everything we need, but our face does not give us everything we want, and we tell him he’s scared. My dad was so old because he made us old. After all, Mom said he was going with my grandfather to the market. 🙂
At college, I asked myself if I could come with my granddaughter because my dad did not seem.
These are just a few jokes with Dad. But, of course, my dad was so ugly that my mom did not miss him. He was lucky to dress well.
If your dad feels like you were a kid, we invite you to write and send us the best jungle!
It’s not always good to make a diary with your dad because there’s a lack of respect, but a good laugh for both of you does not hurt.
When we joker with my dad, he laughs well, and when something does not fit him or my ear. He told me:
Do you want to reward my dad for this joke? Come to eat!
When you want to spend a special day with your dad, start by telling a joker you will invest immediately and have a nice time together.
If you want to read joker with dad or other jokes, we invite you to follow us.
Two policemen are walking down the street, and at one point, one of them sees a helmet on the ground.
– Look, come on, Johnny’s cap!
To which the other:
– You’re a man. Didn’t you hear that he lost it?
Dad and son at the table, he also read some jokes with Little Johnny!
Suddenly the son says:
– Dad, I decided to live alone!
– Very good. You see, I packed your luggage, it’s by the door.
The best jokes for dads in 2024
Fathers are among the favorite characters of those who say or read banks.
But, no matter how many dads jokes you know, some will pleasantly surprise you. So let’s see which of the following is new for you.
Dad, why did you marry mom?
The husband turns to his wife and says:
– See! Even the child wonders why it was in my head then!
A neighbor comes across a child sitting on the stairs and crying.
– What happened to you, boy? She asked him.
– Father suffered it, and the kid grimaces. Dad was reading some bad jokes.
Finally, Mommy asked him to fix the door, so he hit his finger with a hammer.
– And then why are you crying?
– Because, at first, I laughed.
– Dad, dad, do you know where the Equator is?
– Why do I need to know this? Ma ta knows all the things from us in the house!
Dad jokes for adults
At the maternity hospital, the child’s father squints through the window at the newborn babies:
– Hey, look, he smiled! Isn’t she adorable?
– But your child didn’t smile, said the friend accompanying him.
And besides, you have a boy!
– I was talking about the assistant.
Before the wedding, the father gives instructions to his son:
– And make sure that you will go tennis with your friends once a week.
– Good. Something else?
– And don’t be so stupid to go there!
Otherwise, you’ll end up like me, consoling yourself by reading dad jokes for adults!
– Daddy, why is this movie forbidden for children?
– Don’t make a fuss because you’re waking up your mother! Be patient for about 5 minutes, and you will see why.
It is known that a father is the master of the house. And the mother, of course, is the master of the father.
The parents and the child sit at the table.
The child asks questions every five minutes, to which the father invariably answers with, “I don’t know, my dear”. Mother, annoyed:
– Johnny, stop asking so many questions.
To which father:
– Leave him, dear. Otherwise, he won’t learn anything, and he’ll sit on the sofa all day and read the best jokes with dad!
– Dad, what does “alcoholic” mean?
– Do you see those four cats? An alcoholic will tell you that there are 8!
– Dad, but there are only two.
Classic dad jokes, but always immortal
The child asks his parents:
– What are you getting me for my birthday?
– A guitar.
– I already have a guitar, you gave it to me last year.
– We know. Now we’re taking it from you.
– Dad, can I hug you?
– Son, regretfully, but I have no money left!
My mom hugged me earlier when she told me some jokes about dad in 2024, and then she went shopping!
Little Johnny is missing a few days from school.
– What happened when you were absent?
– Four days ago, while reading dad jokes in 2024, dad was burned, Mr. Director.
– Seriously?
– I think so. Those from the crematorium made the flame quite big!
The father, while bathing the child, shouts:
– My dear, the child is eating the foam!
Over a few minutes:
– Darling, don’t worry; I also tasted it and it’s really delicious!
Bad jokes dad
– You saw, son, I can also make you a boy, and you said we couldn’t manage without mother!
– Yes, daddy, that’s right, except my mother used to take my pants and slippers off my feet before bed.
Daddy took the little girl to bed.
Half an hour later, the mother enters the girl’s room to check:
– What is he doing?
Did he finally fall asleep?
– Yes, mother, he fell asleep in the first 5 minutes
The child wakes up for the fourth time during the night.
Finally, the wife, tired, tries to wake up her husband:
– Little Johnny, go and see what Andrei has. He’s making a stall again!
Husband asleep:
– Why me? Call the police.
So, son, let me check your student’s agenda!
– You’re welcome, daddy.
– Let’s see.
Everything is correct on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Bravo!
– Daddy, what are you doing?
Don’t you drive me to school?
– No, you’re walking today!
– 10 km?
– Yes, because I invested the gas money in your “Nike” sneakers, so Just Do It!
– Daddy, I don’t want to go out with you anymore!
– Stop complaining. Pull this sled once!
A very presentable guy, more grizzled than his kind, also talks at a company party:
– Married?
– Yes, for 25 years!
– Do you have children?
– Yes, two!
– Animals?
– No, they are educated, and they behave nicely.