What type of cat works for the Red Cross?
A first-aid cat!
Why do cats always win video games?
Because they have nine lives!
The likelihood of finding a black cat in a dark room increases if you don’t want to step on it.
The owner brought home a hamster in a cage and make a joke
– Now the cat has a TV.
My cat thinks I live with her.
And sometimes, in her eyes, I get the clue that I should live separately.
Maine Coon cats are so big that they change owners very often.
Two cats at the movies.
– Two tickets, please.
“But you’re talking”
“Yes, but we’ll be quiet when we’re in the room”
Funny cat jokes
The best friend is the cat. He will never say:
“Why do you eat at night?”
Instead, she will eat with you!
What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school?
His-tory!
A friendly cat joke:
What types of cats purr the best?
Pur-scans!
What sports do cats play?
Hairball!
Why is it hard to trust cats?
They have many tall tails.
What did the cats do when they realized they had a bad plan?
They decided to (cat)nip it in the bud.
Before a catfight, what is usually said?
“Hold my purse.”
What do cats quote from the movie Bridesmaids?
“Help me, I’m paw!
What do you call a cat who became a doctor?
“A first aid kitten”.
Why don’t cats ever say “YOLO?”
They have nine lives.
Q: Want to hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
That moment when your owner brings a Christmas tree home, and you can’t decide what to do first.
For a man to truly understand rejection… he must first be ignored by a cat.
I had to get rid of my husband. He was allergic to my cat.
When my daughter and I caught only one perch on our fishing trip—not enough for even a modest lunch—we decided to feed it to her two cats.
She put our catch in their dish and watched as the two pampered pets sniffed at the fish but refused to eat it.
Thinking quickly, my daughter picked up the dish, walked over to the electric can opener, ran it for a few seconds, and put the fish back down.
The cats dug right in.
I worked at a boarding kennel where people leave their dogs and cats on vacation.
One morning I had taken a cat out of his cage, and after playing with him and replenishing his food and water, I put him back in.
A few minutes later, I was surprised to see the feline at my feet since the cage doors lock automatically when shut.
I couldn’t figure out how the cat escaped until I bent down to pick him up and spied his nametag: “Houdini.
Funny cat jokes
Johnny and Maria decide to get married after a few years of relationship.
Among the wedding gifts received at the (happy) event, someone jokingly offered them a black cat.
Little Johnny, very happy, spent the whole time with the cat, but not with the fresh wife. This, full of impatience, calls Frosa, his mother:
– Mom, I’m desperate. What should I do to look at little Johnny too!
– Well, dear, dress in soft, nice black clothes.
Said and done.
Our Maria dresses in good black clothes the next day, waiting for Ion.
He comes from work, sees Maria, and begins to scream:
– Well, did you kill the cat?
How does a cat tell a joke?
Miau, this is a dog!
A funny cat tells a joke to his friend
- Today we eat from the trash
- No, we only eat from the garbage
An old lady lives in a modern apartment on a luxurious block.
A “welcoming” neighbor asked her why she couldn’t find a man.
– What good? I have a dog, a parrot, and a cat; they all do it like a husband.
– How so?
– Simple. The shark dog always, the parrot insults all day, and the parrot is gone all night to other cats…
A cat goes to a salon and exits from there with a lady.
Why a cat it’s so grumpy?
Because they like to be like that
Cat lover? Great, also read a new collection of cat puns.
A black cat joke, it’s about to show your way!
Two friends chat with each other:
– Don, I think your boyfriend has gone crazy. I saw him running crazy today on all the lawns and roofs!
No, my dear, stay calm. He is also the only one that I went to the veterinarian.
I castrated him, and now he is in a hurry to cancel the love meetings set before the event.
Cat jokes for adults
Dead cat jokes that it’s not so funny:
So how do you know that a cat is dead?
When she finished all the 9 lives.
A girl, romantic in his own way, wants to impress his girlfriend, a kitty cat. Eager to show his love, he makes some bright statements:
– My, my dear, I would be able to die for you!
The cat looks over his head and asks:
– Yes, I know, but how many times?
A warrior cat joke
A samurai cat goes to his master, the dog.
Now, you are ready to run from me.
Good, because now I stay and fight!
Q: Why don’t you find lawyers on the beach?
A: Simple. When I see them, cats always start covering them with sand.
Why does a kid love cats?
Because they are easy to play with them
Cat dad jokes
Bula’s mother is desperately looking for him:
– Bula, Bula, where do you go, baby?
In the end, Bula also appears, with a water-filled basin, which he pours at the root of the apple in the yard.
– But what are you doing there?
Where do you have water in the pool?
– My dad and I washed the cat.
– God, and how was it?
– He liked crazy. He wanted once more, but Dad said we must squeeze it, to dry faster…
Why dad buy us a cat?
Because he want someone to play with us
How dad play with cat?
He live on the couch!
What a cat does during chemistry hour at school?
Experiments!
Cat knock knock jokes
Knock, knock
Who is there?
Kitty
Kitty who?
Kitty cat!
Knock, knock
What?
Miau!
Knock, knock
What you want?
Milk!
Without a doubt that when it comes to pets, the cat is among the favorites.
Although it occupies a leading place in people’s preferences, it does not exempt her from being the central character in a series of cat jokes.
Moreover, on social networks, numerous videos or cat jokes immediately go viral.
It is clear that friendly animals are one of the favorite subjects, and in the chapter on cat jokes, you always find likes.
Who can resist not even smiling when they see a funny picture or read a few cat jokes?
That moment when you’re going to a Christmas gathering with your cat, and she sees the tree. She can’t decide what to ruin first.
My cat thinks I live with her. And sometimes, in her eyes, I get the hint that I should live separately.
Two cats are hiding behind the bush. One to the other:
“Hide the catnip! I see the cops.”
Babe, I left my cat at my grandma’s this week. Turns out I’ll have a lion from now on.
A cat tell a joke to another.
– Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
– Yes, but the owners are coming home.
Sign in front of a house: “Please don’t let the cat out, no matter what it tells you.”
Doctor, please do something with my wife. Little Johnny complains to a psychiatrist.
I don’t know what to do with her 20 cats anymore. The smell in the house became unbearable.
Why don’t you open the windows?
Well, my 100 pigeons would fly.
After a night full of events, the cat goes home with his girlfriend.
The cat cannot control itself and meows:
– Oh, my love, I would die for you!
The kitten gives him an excited look and asks:
– Okay, but how many times?
The likelihood of finding a black cat in a dark room increases if you don’t want to step on it.
Even those who have a cat as a pet appreciate cat jokes.
That is why we have selected a few kid cat jokes h which we hope will make you laugh.
You don’t have to believe the word; just take a look, and you will find the best cat jokes you have ever read here.
Q. Why do cats make terrible storytellers?
A. They only have one tail.
I saw a neighbor talking to her cat today.
It was hilarious that she thought her cat could understand her, so I went home and told my parrot.
A cat is standing next to the window and dad and sees a homeless guy with his dog walking by.
I feel bad for the homeless boy, but I can’t say this for the dog…
He must be thinking that this is the longest walk ever!
Cat 1: Hey Jack, do you want to hear a joke?
Cat 2: Yes.
Cat 1: Na, I don’t want to, just kitten!