Funny Canadian jokes
When a Canadian opens the door of your partner’s car, then you are sure that one of the two is new!
How does a Canadian tell jokes?
My friend, let me tell you funny jokes:
It was once in a while…
During the economic crisis, one of the most popular jokes among Canadians circulates:
The pessimistic novel:
– Worse than that, you can’t.
The optimistic Canadian:
– You can. Don’t be negative!
Near the US-Canada border, the customs officer enters a train compartment and asks anxiously:
– Weapons?
Money?
– No, thank you, says the Canadian.
Just orange juice, if you can.
How do Canadians spend their birthday?
With an igloo party, reading Canadian jokes and eating maple syrup cake!
Why are Canadians so cheerful?
Because snow always makes their days brighter!
Okay, and those Canadian jokes, but only the two of us know that!
How do you know that a Canadian was at a picnic?
All the bears around him are made of jelly!
How do you know that a Canadian has been fishing?
He always has a story prepared about a huge fish that escaped!
Racist Canadian jokes
At a meeting with a Canadian and a french, they make jokes.
The French people to Canadian:
Why Canadian can you speak the french language?
Because they want to be like us
At a gathering of scientists from around the world, Canadians announce:
– Without joking with Canadians, we are the strongest.
We have discovered something that allows you to see through the wall.
– Extraordinary?
And what did you call the invention?
– The window.
Best Canadian jokes
Q: Why are Canadian men with BMWs most successful as women?
A: It’s simple.
They understand.
Be My Wife!
A young Canadian goes nervously to the pharmacy where he had bought condoms the night before and tells the pharmacist:
– Excuse me, but the condom you sold me was defective.
It broke as soon as I put it on!
An old man in a row completes it:
– Yes, mine did, too!
Why are Canadians so good at orienteering?
Because the snow serves them as a landmark!
How do Canadians spend their winter holidays?
With a snow sculpting contest, tell Canadian jokes and drink hot chocolate!
Why do Canadians always take their umbrellas with them?
Because their weather is as predictable as the humor of the English!
How do you know when a Canadian is having a good day?
He has a smile brighter than the sun!
Why are Canadians so good at skiing?
Because the snow serves them as a landing pad!
What does a Canadian do when he sees a polar bear?
Invite him to a hockey game!
And if the bear refuses?
The Canadians start telling him jokes and… the bear gives in.
Original canadian jokes
What nation are you from?
A Canadian goes with the fish to the vet.
– Doctor, I think my fish suffer from epilepsy.
Surprised, the doctor asks:
– How did you come to this conclusion?
Sounds pretty ok.
– You have patience, doctor.
I have not yet removed it from the aquarium.
Are you a fan of Canadians? Great! Find also italian jokes, about pasta, pizza and others.
How do you know that a Canadian is happy?
He has one foot in the snow and the other on an ice rink!
What does a Canadian say when he is complimented on food?
“Thanks, the secret is maple syrup!”
How do you know that a Canadian is in love?
She walks with her boyfriend or girlfriend through the snow and gossips about Canadian joke tellers!
What does a Canadian do when he sees a tree full of maple syrup?
She hugs him and thanks him for his sweetness!
What does a Canadian say when looking at a sunset?
“It’s more beautiful than a lake of maple syrup!”
How do you know a Canadian is at a party?
He is the one who has a case of beer and a portion of poutine next to him!
What does a Canadian do when he sees a bag of flour?
She is preparing to make the most delicious maple syrup cake!
How do you know a Canadian was at a Halloween party?
He has a snowman costume and hands out candies in the shape of maple leaves!
What does a Canadian say when he sees a grizzly bear?
“Tea time is about to start, would you like to join us?”
How do Canadians spend their cold winter nights?
With a cup of hot chocolate and reading jokes about them, with family and friends!
Funny Canadian jokes
A tourist arrives by car on the banks of a river and asks a man I have the law from the Canadian Riding Police, who was in the area, if the water is deep.
Calm, as in the best Canadian jokes, he says no.
The driver thanks them and enters the car into the river.
He starts to sink, then he barely gets out of the car and starts yelling at the cop:
“Man, are those Canadian jokes really real? Are you crazy? You told me that the water is not deep, and look at what it was like to drown me. ”
With the same Canadian calm, the policeman replies:
“I swear, sir, 5 minutes ago there was little water, some rates passed on it, and they barely reached their water!”
Canadian jokes about America
A Canadian, who live in America and likes cars very much, sees in a car showroom the latest Ferrari model.
Desperate to have it, he sells everything he has, borrows from the bank, borrows from relatives and raises money, less than a dollar.
Then, with a heart like a flea, he goes to his neighbor, a Scot from father to son:
– American neighbor, I have a big demand for you.
And lend me a dollar because I want to get a new Ferrari, the last guy.
Happy, the Scot takes out his wallet and tells him:
– Please 2 and get me a red one!
Scotians and Americans are among those who have “special” treatment regarding banks.
However, no other nation is exempt from being laughed at; among them, the most successful Canadian jokes stand.
Even though there are few Canadian jokes at first glance, they exist and are highly appreciated by connoisseurs.
Canada is a country known for its spectacular landscapes, its warm hospitality and, of course, for being the home of maple syrup.
Canadians are often described as polite, cheerful and ready to lend a helping hand.
That’s why those Canadian jokes are designed to bring smiles to everyone’s faces.
For those who have not heard in their lives of Canadian jokes, we offer a selection of those who seemed the most successful.