The best blonde jokes
“Why doesn’t he suit me?
– Well, he’s smart, and you’re beautiful and still blonde.
– I do not understand.
– Exactly!”
Two blondes:
– It is said that the size of the breasts is transmitted through the gene.
Why do I have the first dimension, and my mother has the 4th one?
– I think you have your father’s genes!
Why, after dinner, does the blonde lie on the stove?
– He wants to burn some calories.
The blonde said:
“I might be blonde, but I know how many ones are.”
Blonde in a digital store.
– Tell me, what is the difference between these two mobile phones?
– The fact that one of them is an MP3 player and the second is a camera.
How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
You give them a shampoo that says, “rinse, wash, and repeat.”
When the blonde buys a car, she chooses it to match the shade of lipstick.
Why didn’t 19 blondes go into a bar?
The sign said 21+.
One blonde said to another, “I made a second hole in my ear.” “And do you hear better now?”
A blonde CEO asked one of her employees to write an entertaining twenty-minute speech for a presentation at a very important convention.
When the CEO returned, she was mad.
“Why did you write an hour-long speech?
Half the audience walked out before I finished!”
The employee replied:
“I wrote a twenty-minute speech and gave you two extra copies.”
What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change.
At a bar, he discusses two blondes from his early youth:
– Do you see the two men over there? Well, the one on the right is my husband, and the one on the left is my lover.
– How strange.
It’s exactly the opposite for me!
The blonde asked:
“Is that like a year and a half?”
The man said, “You aren’t sure if 18 months is a year and a half?”
The blonde responded
“How am I supposed to know that?
I don’t have any kids.”
A blonde entered an electronics store and asked the clerk:
“Can you show me an ovulating fan?”
The clerk quickly responded
“You don’t want one of those fans.
It only works once a month.”
A blonde went to city hall to register to vote.
First, the clerk asked, “When is your birthday?”
She replied, “August 15”
Next, the clerk asked
“What year?”
The blonde said
“Every year.
A blonde called 911 and whispered:
“There’s a prowler in my backyard”
The operator quickly responded:
“Give me your address, and I’ll send the police immediately.”
The blonde thought for a minute and said:
“I would, but I don’t want to get involved”.
Dumb blonde jokes
Two dumb blondes tell jokes to each other:
– I lost my dog!
– Give a newspaper ad!
– It’s useless. He can’t read or buy the newspaper!
– Why do dumb blondes run next to bikes?
– Because the bikes are going too fast and they cannot climb.
It’s about to come out a dumb blonde joke: She is drawn to the right by a policeman.
– Madam, why are you driving a snake? Can’t you go straight?
– Policeman, it’s not my fault. Wherever I turn, I hit a tree in front of me!
– Miss, this is the car freshener.
Between two dumb friends, blonde tells jokes:
– I didn’t sleep with my husband before the wedding.
You?
– I do not know! How do you call your husband to answer you?
– Why are blondes not allowed to visit the Eiffel tower?
– Because he would give food to helicopters.
– How do you know the blonde from the secretariat sent an email?
– There are many thick envelopes in the disk drive.
– How does a blonde kill a fish?
– He drowns.
A blonde tells a joke to a brunette:
– You know why I am more beautiful than you?
– Because you have blonde hair?
– No, because I study at Harvard!
Why can’t a blonde call 112?
Because his dumb and she can’t find the eleven keys.
A dumb blonde joke
Why are you so smart?
Because I am brunette
A guy wanted to hang a blonde and try his luck:
– Madam, haven’t we met at the zoo yesterday?
– Yes, but I do not know what cage I saw you in the zoo.
A blonde enters the mailbox, opens it, finds nothing, and leaves.
The operation is repeated several times, and the blonde is really angry. Finally, a neighbor sees her and asks:
– Did something happen?
– My computer went crazy! He always tells me that I received the mail.
Funny blonde jokes
Two dumb blonde friends chat over coffee:
– I saw your friend yesterday, but she didn’t see me.
– I know, he told me.
Is a blonde joke easy to understand?
Why is my hair yellow?
Because you are blonde
– What is the name of a blonde with a neuron?
– Pregnant.
– How can you sink a submarine full of blondes?
– Knock on the door!
Dirty blonde jokes
– What is the definition of eternity?
– Four blondes, in four cars, at an intersection. This is a dirty blonde joke.
There are countless blonde jokes that no one can claim to know.
There are jokes with blonde at the wheel and dirty or clean blonde jokes.
A dirty guy drinks in a bar and addresses the blonde from the table next door:
– I do not know whether to drink another row or to like it.
– Why are the banks with blonde so short?
– So that the brunettes can easily hold them.
The blondes, angry, made a rally, dissatisfied with the fact that there were so many banks on their behalf.
On the billboard, he wrote: “Not all nonsense is blond!”
– Why do blondes have eyes like stars?
– Because they have a deep mind that night.
Can a blonde drive a car well?
Yes, only if she looks good on the glass of the car!
A blonde goes on a date with a brunette man. They go to a restaurant and speak.
The guy was passionate about cars, and she was not until he said about his February.
From there, the blonde falls in love.
Among the most appreciated banks are those blonde jokes, which delight any party.
Even if they seem offended, even the blonde know and laugh at those funny blonde jokes, it is already a classic assertion that there are no banks with blondes, that they are a reality, but it is just a wicked one.
We also have our selection of blonde jokes, inviting you to “taste” properly.
Read more blonde, brunette and redhead jokes on our website.
A blonde goes to the doctor and complains that she misses everything.
– Doctor, it hurts if I touch my head with my finger. If it touches my foot, it hurts.
Then, if it touches me on the belly again, it hurts me. I miss everything..what do I have?
Dr: Are you a natural blonde?
Blonde: Yes
Dr: Then clearly, you have your finger with which you have broken.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a Mercedes?
A: No one enters the Mercedes
What is the difference between a blonde and a mirror?
A blonde gets bored faster.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A: A toilet is not taken after you use it.
A blonde comes to work crying in hoots. The boss asks her worried about what has happened to her:
“This morning, I received a phone call and learned that my mother was dead.”
The boss consoles her: “Why don’t you go home today to rest?
And so we don’t have much work to do.
The blonde refuses, saying that she works better to forget about the trouble.
After 2 hours, the boss walks past her office and hears her crying even louder.
“What happened before?” she asks.
She responds: “My sister just called and told me her mother was dead.”
Q: Why do all blonde women paint?
A: To make them work well because everyone has read blondes.
Q: Do you know why I don’t do army blondes?
A: They throw themselves on their backs because they are ordered to lie down.
A blonde has, for the first time, an opportunity to converse in English, meeting some relatives from America:
– Hello, Diana, how do you feel?
Blonde responds excitedly:
– Phil Collins
Q: What is the resemblance between a blonde and a bicycle?
A: In the absence of the camera, both support the fence.
What does a blonde ask for in a confectionery?
A black woman.
What does a blonde do when she can’t leave the house? He gets under the bed.
A blonde goes to the library to look for a physics book. Which line do you think she’s looking at? In turn, with Chinese language books.
A blonde sentenced to death is asked what her last wish is. After silence, the blonde says:
“Let’s see the series La Casa del Papel”
What do you have against blondes?
Hmmm, we have lipsticks, make-up, balloons, and panties.
Where do you meet a blonde most often? At the saloon.
One day a blonde decides to cook.
– Guess what I want to cook today?
– What do you want?
– I make fried eggs.
After 5 minutes in the kitchen, black smoke often appears if you don’t see each other anymore.
Seeing the smoke and being in the area, two blacks stop at the blonde:
What happened?
Nothing serious, I wanted to fry one egg, and it turned black when I put it on the fire, and I saw fog in the house.
A blonde walks through a forest, and at one point, she meets a fox.
Blonde: Are you kidding me?
Why can’t a blonde write the number 99? Because he doesn’t know which one to put first.
How do you greet some blondes? What wind brings you here!
How do you differentiate a blonde’s brain from a tennis ball? The ball weighs 300 grams more.
After a full night, a blonde wakes up with a hangover the next day and sees written on the wall
“Tomorrow, I do not drink.”
To which she
“Thank God, it’s not today!”
Two blondes meet on the street:
– Now I was going to look for you.
– Well, go because I’m not moving from here and waiting for you here.
Two dumb blondes:
– Hey, today was great!
– What happened?
– I came across my ex today!
– So what?
– I was behind the wheel.
Best blonde jokes one liners
• Why are blonde jokes so short?
So they can remember them.
• How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
You tell her a joke on Wednesday.
• A blonde asked her coworker, “Do you have any kids?”
“Yes,” she replied. “I have one child. So that’s just under two.”
• The blonde said, “I might be blonde, but I know how many ones are.”
• Two blondes were driving, and one thought her blinker might be broken.
She asked her friend to check. The friend stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes….”
• How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
First, you give them a shampoo that says, “rinse, wash, and repeat.”
• What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A golden retriever!
• Why didn’t 19 blondes go into a bar?
The sign said 21+.
• Why don’t blondes use 911 in an emergency?
Because they can’t find “eleven” on the phone dial.
• A blonde CEO asked one of her employees to write an entertaining twenty-minute speech for a presentation at a very important convention.
When the CEO returned, she was mad.
“Why did you write an hour-long speech?
Half the audience walked out before I finished!”
The employee replied:
“I wrote a twenty-minute speech and gave you two extra copies.”
• What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change.
• A man told a blonde coworker that his son had just turned 18 months.
• The blonde asked:
“Is that like a year and a half?”
• The man said, “You aren’t sure if 18 months is a year and a half?”
The blonde responded, “How am I supposed to know that? I don’t have any kids.”
• A blonde entered an electronics store and asked the clerk
“Can you show me an ovulating fan?”
The clerk quickly responded:
“You don’t want one of those fans.
It only works once a month.”
• A blonde waitress brought a customer’s order to the table with her thumb over his steak.
The customer said:
“Are you crazy? You have your thumb on my steak.”
The waitress responds:
“What, you want it to fall on the floor again?”
• A blonde went to city hall to register to a tv show.
First, the men asked:
“Where is your job?”
She replied:
“On the Wall Street.”
Next, the men asked:
“OK, I will come on the Wall Street to find you”
The blonde said
“OK…”
• A blonde called 911 and whispered:
“There’s a prowler in my backyard.”
The operator quickly responded:
“Give me your address, and I’ll send the police immediately.”
The blonde thought for a minute and said:
“I would, but I don’t want to get involved.”
Blonde jokes are smart and funny.
Everybody knows numerous blondie jokes, among the top picks of admirers of good jokes.
That is why we couldn’t resist the opportunity to set up a few decent ones for you to better fill your heart with joy.
So unwind and peruse them discreetly!
A blonde likewise has a vehicle with 20,000 km ready, and she can’t sell it by any stretch of the imagination.
So she goes to her companion, the brunette. In the wake of reasoning somewhat, the brunette proposes to go together to help to get the mileage to 10,000.
Said and done.
Following seven days, the brunette called the blonde:
– Have you sold your dear vehicle?
– What, do you have the feeling that I am the subject of blonde jokes?
Since it has 50,000 km ready, I’m no longer selling it.
I’m saving it for myself.
– Where could America on the guide be?
Lora, one of the blondies, gets up and focuses her finger on the guide.
Instructor:
– All around good, Lora. Another inquiry: who found America?
Promptly 25 blondies out of nowhere stand up and reply in theme:
– Lora!
A blondie is chatting on the telephone with her closest companion.
– Young lady, since I’ve been remaining at home, it’s been similar to those blondie jokes you used to tell me.
I acquired three kilograms.
– Yet, from what?
– I think from the seals.
The magnets on the cooler entryway continue to draw me to the kitchen.
A blonde at a police headquarters:
– a bonehead assaulted me!
– For what reason do you say that?
– I needed to help him!
A blondie calls her companion:
– My accomplice is a moron. I’ve been sitting tight for him since he was four; it’s a quarter to five.
– However, what time would you say you should meet?
– At three.
A blonde secretary enters the supervisor’s office:
– Chief, somebody just took your vehicle!
– Call the police right away!
Did you try and figure out how to see the crooks?
– No, yet I immediately recorded the vehicle number.
Two blondies are talking:
– Goodness, my dear, says one, these men have no rationale.
Furthermore, they likewise play idiotic blonde jokes with us!
– Why you?
– Today, I needed to clear up for a cop for 30 minutes, that yesterday I was wearing various shoes.
Given this, the driver’s permit is in another suitcase.
A girl, blonde, called her mom. She’s likewise blonde.
– Mother, I don’t have any idea what to do.
My significant other said he would rather not see me any longer.
– Because of you, there are countless blonde jokes.
Switch off the light, and you’ve tackled the issue!
Two blonde secretaries meet in the city.
– I heard that you left the bank where you worked.
– Goodness, yes. Furthermore, I improve.
Presently I’m the secretary of a legal counselor who involves me as a tortious body for divorces, so we have a truckload of cash.
Blonde at the store:
– Three lights, please.
– We don’t have any, yet excuse me, what might you want to involve them for?
– I’m enthusiastic about photography and must set up a camera obscura.
A blondie enters a bookshop and inquires:
– I’m searching for a book I request on different events.
– Without a doubt, what is the name of the book?
– Character card.
Two blondies meet.
– Young lady, how are you.
– See, I just returned from an excursion. I went to Venice.
– Also, it was delightful.
It- Totally fabulous, yet I was exceptionally dazzled by individuals, the Venetians, what great individuals!
Acknowledge, young lady, the entire city was overflowed, and they sang and had a good time.
How would you succumb to a blonde?
– You take her to a round room and advise her to sit in a corner.
– How does a blondie pulverize you?
– He lets you know that he has plunked down and hinders you from making more blonde jokes…
-For what reason are Japanese ladies so brilliant?
– Since they are not Japanese blondies!
Who could do without blondies?
Brunettes! That is what number of blonde jokes came to fruition, correct?
What is the skeleton of a blonde in a dresser?
The victor of last year’s Find the stowaway title…
Do you have at least some idea why brunette young ladies chuckle when they hear blonde jokes?
Since they have the feeling that it doesn’t allude to them!
How does a blondie end it all?
He’s hurling himself off the planning phase!
Three blondes go fishing. Clearly, the snare likewise gets the brilliant fish.
To get away, he guarantees them that he will satisfy one of their desires, assuming he tosses it into the water.
The primary blonde requests to make her more brilliant, and the fishmonger makes her a redhead.
The second requests to make her more intelligent than the first, so the fishmonger makes her a brunette.
The third requests to make her more brilliant than the other two, and the fishmonger makes her a man.
What do you call a blonde with a wee bit of intelligence?
Fortunate.
Why do two blondies battle when they need to get on a cruiser?
Which of them ought to sit by the window?
A blondie plans to venture out from home, holding both vehicle keys.
The spouse asks her:
– For what reason did you both take the keys?
– Don’t you perceive how cold it is?
Perhaps it doesn’t begin at the main key…
A blondie goes to the service station to top off her vehicle.
Here he asks the merchant what fuel he has at the siphon.
He replies:
– 68 and 98.
To which blonde:
– What, you truly have nothing from this year?
A blondie finds her vehicle in the parking garage with the entryway shut.
A bystander, a major enthusiast of blonde jokes, prescribes he blows into the exhaust pipe until the entryway returns to its unique shape.
The blondie doesn’t think long and begins blowing.
While he was occupied, another blondie showed up:
– How are you, honey?
– All things considered, look, I blow to fix the entryway.
– Gracious dear, indeed, you are as yet a sister!
You won’t ever succeed!
– Also, why precisely?
– Indeed, don’t you see that your windows are open.
The official traditions shares with a blonde:
– You should expand your identification, miss!
Blonde, with a profoundly frustrated face:
– On the off chance that you knew how sorry I am, it has a generally excellent shape for my tote.
A brunette and a blondie are driving.
At a certain point, the brunette pulls to one side. The blondie asks her:
– In any case, for what reason did we stop?
– Since the gas ran out.
– God, young lady, how cunning you are!
I didn’t understand it and continued onward.