Anti jokes, to everyone’s liking! These anti-jokes for sure you will don’t like!
– Why don’t the mammal elephants eat?
– Simple, nobody tried to offer them!
– What does Superman say when he reads 1000 anti-jokes?
– Look, brother, they brought out a book with 1000 anti-jokes.
A good man with a frog on the crest enters the doctor’s office.
He says nothing, but the frog starts to scream at one point:
Doctor, I think I have hemorrhoids!
A dwarf went into a bookstore and asked:
– Do you have a book about irony?
– Of course, yes, the seller replies. It’s on the last shelf, above the yellow cover.
The best anti-jokes are about to come right now.
– What does a white elephant do in the sunlight?
– The Shadow.
– Why does the hammer beater?
– Not to hit the tree head.
– What is the definition of use?
– That thing on which the wrong side is usually the dog.
– What were the red skins used for horse skins?
– Keep their horses in them
A game grumps anti-jokes.
Why are you so black?
Because you can see me better in that color.
Friendly Anti jokes to say to your kids
– Who’s black with one leg?
– A black wood.
– What is black, but with two legs?
– A standard black.
– But what is black with three legs?
– A floor.
Anti dark humor jokes
On an idyllic summer day, a horse grazed quietly in the field.
Suddenly he swallows a butterfly by mistake. Immediately the butterflies began to fight, shout, and give wings, but unfortunately, too late. The horse anti anything had already left.
– Why is the red color red?
– To not make noise when you eat it.
– What’s big? It smells awful, and it has 120,000 wings.
– A litter box on which 60,000 flies have settled.
Two polar bears flew wildly through the desert. Suddenly, one falls. The other comforts him:
– There is nothing, well you did not fall into the water!
Find here the best dark humor jokes.
– How long is it, blue and walking under the Earth?
– A frame in a neoprene suit.
Original anti humor
– What is yellow and has black stripes?
– Larry King or a lemon that carries the straps.
The best anti jokes
The best anti-jokes are short, with an easy-to-remember message, so it’s no surprise that many people prefer them.
You must read the following lines to know some of the best anti-jokes.
A rope looked in the mirror and smiled with satisfaction:
– Mother, what a man I am!
– Bula, do you know why the rhino has horns?
– Because he couldn’t find the bacon anymore.
-What does Tarzan say when he sees a thousand elephants running towards him?
– Look, Jane, a thousand elephants run towards me!
– What is green and running through the forest?
– A broccoli escaped from the Zoo.
A hungry wolf was also feeding a sheep, and at one point, he stopped. Why?
– Because the road was over, and he was no longer in trouble…
Why you so anti anything?
Because I can!
– Why is the snail going so slowly?
– To keep his eyes from waving…
Two candies are on the roof. Which is the first?
– The mint.
How do you stop a camel from passing through the needle’s ears?
– Simple. You knot his tail.
A flea enters the swirling bar in a bar, orders a double whiskey, turns it on its head, goes upstairs, “takes care” of a flea, then goes out to the balcony and jumps.
Land on the belly in the dust:
– Damn it, and my dog ran away…
– Hi, Mom, don’t be scared, please don’t panic, it’s nothing serious, but I’m in the hospital!
– The fans, I have become saturated. You have been a doctor for ten years, do not repeat this as often as you call me out of my mind.
Family doctor to the patient:
– I decided to give you a referral to a rheumatologist
– Why? The patient asks. I have eye problems.
– Because I told you to get a certificate from the workplace, but I see that it hurts.
– What is white with black and flying?
– The pigeon in a bathing suit.
– What is small, yellow, and going under the ground?
– I don’t know, I never forgot!
– What is yellow? Has 22 legs and two wings?
– China’s national football team.
– What is black in the meadow, and it turns?
– A card that competes in throwing the hammer.
– What is black and jumps in one leg in the meadow?
– The same card, but after he dropped his hammer on his leg.
As they are called, anti jokes, or dry benches, are not liked by many who love to laugh with all their heart.
However, they have their charm, and many of the anti-jokes are a good opportunity to start a conversation or encourage a little more discussion that has nowhere to go.
This is a list of anti-jokes that you can say with humor to your friends. In addition, this is a collection of antisemitic jokes and vax.
How to hunt a wild boar? The hunter is hiding in a tree and starts laughing like a penguin.
What should you do to an elephant with digestive problems? First, you surround it with a fence.
Where’s the king? In the beehive
Michel had a goat, and the goat had nothing against it.
What are small and black?
Seeds.
What are you writing about?
With your feet.
If you count yourself among those who appreciate good anti-jokes, you will adore them. If not, you just need to read these anti jokes, and you might become their fan.
Try a few anti jokes that will slightly describe your forehead and make you appreciate this kind of humor.
What a soft pillow you have. What did you do? From my sister-in-law’s extensions.
What do we have today at the table? Barbeque.
Where do you have the window? At the window. What about the glass?
At the door.
What a beautiful flower you have.
Yes, thank you, I found it at the antique shop.
The guest to a drunk: What do you drink? My late mother-in-law was retiring.
An announcement in the newspaper: Young, beautiful, smart, without defects, good and well-paid service, beautiful car, huge house, rich parents and grandparents, just praise me, I do not want anything.
How is the pie made?
With ingredients.
How does a student choose their chosen biology?
With the microscope.
How does a young woman dream of being elected?
With a special large pension.
Why does the elephant have a horn?
To wash better. Niche anti-joke to say to your friends.
Two sharks fly across the Pacific.
At one point, one is red. Another one is on the right.
The sun is spinning around the Earth.
It spins today, it spins tomorrow, it spins over a week, and at one point, it gets dizzy.
Can you hear me?
Yes.
Then go and look for me behind the block.
Why does the rhino have big horns?
To hear better.
For a shine in the dark, read these good anti jokes.
Two birds are on one branch: one was hammered, and the other was down.
What’s big, red on the inside with the black drops?
A watermelon.
What does a peasant say when he sees in the jungle 1000 leopards coming towards him?
Look, these cute little cats are coming so fast to me.
Do you know how to call a man who doesn’t see?
With your hand.
Where did little Maria go after the explosion?
Everywhere!
Did you get hurt?
No, I got on well!
Two bollards walk through the desert.
One says to the other: Look, a cactus…
What is red with green and can reach 50 miles per hour?
The frog in a mixer.
Peak hen: Eat chicken breast and keep your brain in your throat.
Why pour blonde water on the keyboard?
To be able to surf the Internet.
Who first beat Trump? The parents
What is the name of a secretary who got pregnant with her boss? Boss-swollen.
Did you cut yourself?
No, my hair grows backward!
What is the name of a woman who always knows where her husband is?
Widow!
What goes into one ear comes out the other but stays in your head?
Pickaxe!
What is small, black and knocks on the door?
There were two ways on a hill:
One black and one beyond.
The hysterical pig in the store: Do you receive orders?
Seller: Of course. The hysterical pig: Down now!
When does a beam catch the maximum speed?
In free fall!
What is green, round and climbing the wall?
A Tupeist olive.
Mommy and Dad got drunk again! How do you know?
Barber mirror in the bathroom!
What is a white line in the desert?
Or until dawn.
But a black line in the desert?
Shadow of the door not anti jokes.
How many times does the rooster sing in the morning?
One time, but several lyrics.
Why are soldiers wearing green braces? Not to drop their pants.
Two eagles were sitting on a ledge, and the third was falling.
A policeman was thinking.
Germans love:
I want you cold!
An old man and a babysitter died as young men.
Even if I were logarithmic, I wouldn’t leave you at your base.
My neighbor has two girls.
One is very beautiful, and the other is a physics student.
Anti jokes
There are anti-jokes about anything!
However, no area is untouched by those who love to laugh out loud.
Yes, there is even a special category of funny jokes.
But the truth is that these funny jokes have special humor, which only true connoisseurs can appreciate.
– What happened to Bac this year?
– All high school…
A student, dissatisfied, anti anything try to get a higher grade:
– Professor, why did you give me 4?
– Two points are ex officio;
I gave you a point because you came to the exam, and the last one because you tried to answer something.
– Professor, couldn’t you give me another point so I can leave the exam and not see me again in the autumn?
The child returns from the first day of school and tells the parents:
– That’s it!
I’m not going to school anymore!
The parents, surprised, ask:
– Why?
The child answers:
– I don’t know how to write! I don’t know how to read!
And I don’t even allow you to talk and show them how to do it!
We have some of the best jokes without humor or anti-jokes if you want to try some of them.
– Ask me if I’m an apple.
– Are you a sea?
– Are you kidding me?
Can’t you see I’m a man? Ha, ha, what an anti-joke…
– Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshake?
– No, not because he has Parkinson’s, but because he uses the best ingredients.
– What is the name of a black man who arrived on the moon?
– What’s his name?
Astronaut.
– What is red and smells like green paint?
– A box with red paint.
A gorilla enters a bar and asks for a banana martini.
We are anti gorillas!
The bartender finds this strange and realizes he is actually dreaming.
He wakes up and tells his wife what a ridiculous dream he had. His wife ignores him and continues to read the page with no anti-jokes from the newspaper.
Finally, the man returns and starts crying because their marriage is in full swing.
A guy confesses in a bar:
– I still remember my grandfather’s words before he turned the corner.
He said, “Hey, how fast do you think I’m going to turn the corner?”
One day, a policeman stopped a group of gypsies in a car.
What do you think they were doing?
They all went to work in the same car to save gas.
– What is red and seriously damages the teeth?
– The brick.
A reddit anti joke
-What do you call a black man flying a plane?
-A pilot, what were you thinking?
– Listen, Johnny, do you know why the dinosaur couldn’t break the brick wall?
– I have no idea!
– Oh, I don’t know either, that’s why I’m asking you.
In antiquity, Aristotle stood staring blankly and meditated deeply:
What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?
– Why did your grandmother put rollers on her walking frame?
– Because he suffers from dementia.
Invitation to a portion of laughter, with lots of dry jokes
Are you sad or depressed?
Then you should know that one of the best remedies is a series of anti-jokes.
Surely you will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and life will seem better.
So relax and quietly read the following.
You know the saying. When a fool makes a fool of himself, he has fun, but when he makes a fool of himself, he has consequences.
If we don’t have to eat at night, why do all the refrigerators have light bulbs?
– How do you drink red wine?
– Red wine is always drunk on bare skin because it stains, and obligatorily while reading anti-jokes.
Obesity Association’s warning to the world:
Watch out for sweets.
Shrink your clothes.
A few years ago, I used to eat only natural things until I found out that most people die of natural causes…
So now I read dry anti jokes!
Little Johnny, to a friend: Listen, brother, scientists have discovered that a glass of red wine is equivalent to an hour of sports.
I had to turn 50 to learn that I have been doing performance sports all my life!
-Think eco too, save the Planet! Stop drinking water and replace it with wine!
– My dear, how do you like eggs? Me or strong?
– Wrong !!
British researchers have completed an extensive study which concluded that 3 out of 10 women are right.
The other 7 make a fuss until you’re right.
In fact, you should know that the women did not come from Venus as they say, but were expelled from there…
Behind every man coveted by all women, one is certainly tired of him.
This is anti true joke!
Women are tired of being accused of gossiping! In fact, they don’t do that at all.
They just update their information!
Nothing is really lost until even my mother can find it.
-Why did you take 2 in chemistry?
– I also told a joke about chemistry, but I had the right reaction from the teacher!
– I think I’m a good mother!
For example, last night, I wasted four hours helping my child look for the chocolate I had been eating since lunch!
Little Johnny, the bookstore:
– I came to return this book! Isn’t that what it promises?
– What is it?
– It’s the book “Learn Chinese in just ten steps”! I made more than 10,000 home, and nothing caught me!
The advice of an old Jew to his son:
My dear, never approach a bull in the face, a horse in the back of a fool in any direction.
At confession, a guy seems genuinely affected and anti anything:
– Father, I cheated, lied, stole, and took it from the children’s mouths!
– Off, one more. And which party do you say you belong to, son?
Anyone can say what they want.
I know that smoking saves lives.
If you only knew how many people are alive just because I lit a cigarette and then calmed down!