The number 911 is just for emergencies. We made these jokes to make you a funny day, but do not use them at 911. Share with your friends.
Although it is not advisable to call 911 to make bad jokes because your gesture can cost human lives, we can not fail to recognize that there are many jokes whose subject is exactly this: jokes at 911.
A selection of the best of these we have prepared for you!
The best 911 jokes
A blonde car passes a policeman and kills him. Somewhat frightened by what she did, she called the police and asked:
– Hello. Are you 9 11?
– Yes
– I don’t want it to sound like 9-11 jokes, but I just called to let you know that you are only 111 and need to change the number urgently.
– Hello, 911.
– Yes.
– I argued with my husband because he made me fat.
– Oh, I understand. We often face this situation. At what address is the husband’s body?
Two guys talk to each other:
-Last night, my daughter’s friend brought her home drunk. Quick, call 911 urgently, I told him!
“She’s just drunk,” he replied.
– Not for her, you’ll need it! I answered as I rolled up my sleeves.
Jokes on september 9/11 attacks
Why on 9/11 make those attacks? Maybe cause 911 is also for the ambulance?
How was September 11 made? With two airplane
On 9 11, some people had a tough time, so we had to understand them and not laugh at them.
After being involved in a car accident that left them with enough rolls and an accordion car, a couple, husband and wife, were in the ambulance on their way to the hospital.
He had no scratches, but her nose was broken, bruised enough, and she was breathing hurriedly.
– What happened?
Ask the nurse.
– Are you kidding 911 with us? Not seen?
A car accident, the man answers.
– Tell him the truth, you bastard. You hit me!
His wife shouted at him in anger.
– That’s right, he says, but that was after you hit the first car!
911 family guy
A family guy calls 911
I need help with my dog.
What is the problem
He wants to bite me
A Scotsman also calls 911:
– Hello, ambulance, come quickly.
My youngest son, three years old, just swallowed my pen!
– Immediately, but do you know what to do in the meantime?
– Yes, I will have to finish the puzzle to complete it with the pencil!
In an ambulance, two doctors who were called urgently by 911 discuss the patient on the stretcher:
– According to the symptoms, I think he has acute pancreatitis.
– No, colleague, these are clear symptoms of a perforated ulcer.
– No way, let me see you at the autopsy, and you’ll be convinced I was right.
911 jokes Rick and Morty
Why does Rick call 911 for Morty?
Because he wants to play
How will 911 help Rick and Morty?
In no way do they help each other.
A young man who suffered a traffic accident calls 911 and receives first aid from the staff of the SMURD ambulance.
Obviously, he is also subjected to a small series of questions:
– How are you feeling, sir?
– Are you a doctor?
– No, paramedic.
– Then I feel paranormal too.
– A suitcase fell on your head. Do you want me to call 911?
Did you suffer anything?
– Nothing. Fortunately, it was empty.
– But you don’t know what was in the suitcase?
– Come on, tell me, don’t boil me: did you get a driver’s license?
– Do not know yet.
– What do you mean you don’t know? What did the examiner say?
– He didn’t have time to tell me anything.
He had a heart attack while I was driving, and I was telling him some jokes at 911.
In America, a family guy walks into a bar, pulls out his pistols, walks to the bar, looks at the bartender, and says:
– If you move, you’re dead!
The bartender, a guy who had previously worked at 911 for years, answers slyly:
– You’re an idiot, buddy. If I move, I’m alive.