Bring a smile to your face with this funny jokes.
Here are a few ones!
Popular jokes by category
How does a man make an important decision?
He covers his head with his hands, closes his eyes, thinks profoundly, he listens to his conscience, and then says with determination:
“Wife, how do you think we should do?”
– Love, give me the baby.
– Wait to cry.
– To cry?
– Why?
– Because I can not find him!
Two friends in the park:
– Hear, who will you vote for at the next election?
– With Ali Baba and the 40 thieves.
– How is that?
– To make sure it’s only 40.
– Dad, I have to tell you two tidings:
– Tell me the good one.
– I finally passed a test.
– Bravo! And the bad one?
– It was a pregnancy test.
A mom gets in a car with her child.
The car driver says:
“This is the smallest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The mom walks to the rear of the car.
She says to the man:
“What a monkey”.
– Johnny, where did you go?
– I was in a hospital when my doctor wants to make to leave my addiction
– Well, I see that you are drinking again!
– Yes, but without the mood of the drink.
Two mothers:
– Tell your son to stop imitating me!
– Jack, stop acting like an idiot!
– My dear husband, we will have a child
– You make a joke?
Best Really Funny Jokes
– Hey girl, I’m good at makeup.
– No, your face is still visible!
I want to try a new diet. Her name is apple.
I buy an iPhone, and I have no money to eat now.
Ask your dad, can you give me any advice?
What does he tell you?
Go to your mother and ask her for a funny joke.
– You want to be my sun today?
– Yeah, sure!
– Then run at 150,000,000 kilometers from me!
– I want to confess that I’m in love with your daughter, not because you’re a wealthy family.
– So, which of the four?
– It does not matter!
Two friends talk about girls:
– My girlfriend finally told me about marriage after three years.
– And what did he say to you?
– She has a husband and three children.
Why do diabetics never get revenge?
Because revenge is sweet!
What joke will make a lion in a jungle into a zebra?
I will eat you today!
Zebra: First, you have to run after my ass
I wanted your wife. I’m waiting for severe offers.
Thousands of identical answers:
I can offer my wife.
Are you interested?
If you are a man, thank your girlfriend because even making you angry is the first step to discovering more about yourself.
Kids always laugh at this funny joke.
An aeronaut in his balloon in the air lost its course, and while he was falling, he saw a man and asked that man where he was.
The man tells him he is precisely 25 meters above the ground, giving him the coordinates.
The aeronaut is amazed by the man’s precision sights and tells the man that he believes he is a mathematician.
The unknown man confirms and asks him how did he figure it out.
The aeronaut tells him that his answer is complete and correct.
However, it’s useless to him because he still doesn’t know where he is and what to do, blaming him that he lost precious time because of him.
We all run every day at work, home, supermarket again at home, eat, wash, relax for a few minutes, then sleep, and this routine continues each.
So we forget to laugh and can almost be called robots.
When should you say funny jokes?
There needs to be a more well-defined moment, but certainly, one thing is sure: you have to tell jokes or read them.
Of course, people are only sometimes willing to listen to jokes, but you can still read funny jokes from the category that attracts you and amuse yourself.
Why should you read jokes and laugh?
Specialists have shown that laughter has multiple effects on sanity.
Among the most important were:
– Increased immune system;
– Relieve stress;
– It stimulates creativity and mind;
– Reduces blood pressure;
– Helps reduce pain.
The smile is the most attractive accessory of a woman.
A woman must smile, laugh and be happy always.
If you are a woman, do not let worries and daily problems ruin your mood.
You deserve to be satisfied!
Any advice for gentlemen: Make the women of your life happy! Making people around you happy is priceless.
If you read a good joke or saw a funny clip, don’t keep it just for yourself!
You thought you could make a person’s day much better by sharing a hook, an image, or a funny joke.
If you are happy, help others to be the same because some people need some help.
Humor is an art that must be appreciated, considering that we live in a period in which we tend to run for material goods, be sad and monotonous, and forget what is essential.
So here you can laugh about the funniest jokes!
Do not give up the idea of being happy; create a habit of laughing daily or making others laugh.
Influence the condition of others as much as you can through small things but effective! Oh, this is a really funny joke.
Still, wondering when you should say funny jokes or what should you read?
Do not hesitate and get out of your everyday routine.
Instead, assign at least 10 minutes each week to quote good jokes.
It’s extremely healthy for you, and if you feel their effects, tell them funny jokes to motivate them to read.
Then, share them all with your discovery and a recipe for being happy.
The extraordinary things are in things that apparently do not matter.
Here you will find a collection of funny jokes for kids and adults.
Read at least five jokes a day! Hear also the podcast for the best jokes.
What are the benefits of jokes?
We all know that laughter is the best medicine, which has been scientifically proven. It is recommended to have moments with colleagues, friends, or family where you all laugh.
It has beneficial effects for everyone.
Even if you are an adult, we recommend you read funny jokes and bring your inner child back.
We can say that jokes, riddles, or funny games come from thousands of years ago.
People love the state of well-being, joy, and good mood, and nothing can be compared to a person who smiles and feels good with loved ones.
As we said before, laughter is healthy, and among the effects of laughter on health were listed:
– prevents hypertension;
– prevent and combat depression;
– increases the activity of antibodies;
– improves memory;
– strengthens the relationship between the couple’s partners;
– reduces blood sugar.
Life is too short to be sad. Be cheerful, laugh, amuse yourself, and emanate joy because regardless of the situation, I’m convinced that there is a reason why you can laugh.
Take a daily break in which you laugh and have fun, all for a healthy lifestyle influenced by small things like a blonde joke or any other categories of funny jokes that interest you.
Live can be good, whether you are an adult or a kid.
It just depends on how you see it.
We are all connected to the Internet and can access the information we want with just a few keyboards.
Do not let the day end badly! Open your phone or computer, watch funny videos, read funny jokes, watch shows and end the day with a positive attitude that eliminates thoughts about work or personal issues.
Jokes are our way of amusement and stress relief. But, in a hurry for money, we forget to be cheerful, reflecting on our health.
Be happy, smile, and enjoy every moment. Life is concise, and every moment should be cherished. One way to amuse you is to read jokes.
Even if it’s not your style, you will find some jokes that will amuse you best.
And read one more funny joke!
Seeing the aeronaut’s temper, the mathematician tells him he seems to be a king or a leader.
The aeronaut confirms, telling him that he is the leader of a serious company.
He asks the mathematician how he knows him and if he saw him on TV.
Surprised, the mathematician suggests to him to think about what he’s about to say, and that is:
“You don’t understand where you are and what you are supposed to do.
You ask the help of an expert, you don’t believe what you are being told, and when you are proved wrong, you become angry instead of asking again.
You are in the same position you were in before my answer, but now you blame me for this.
Ultimately, you are higher than everybody because of this balloon, but your fall will be fatal.
Indifferent, you are a kid, a man, or a woman.
You will laugh at these short one-liner jokes.
Here you will find funny puns that will make you laugh.
Do you want to have a good day?
The best way is to read jokes and feel free to laugh! 🙂
Of course, you can sleep a little more and make yourself a good breakfast for your family.
Put on you the best clothes and go out with a smile. You can meet your friends and discuss the puns you read in the morning.
This will create a good atmosphere. Develop a good sense of humor with us, and read and tell jokes to your friends or family.
The best funny jokes in 2024
Who does not love to hear or read some funny jokes?
Because the laughter is free now, we have a few such banks for you, designed to make you forget about your problems!
Two good friends also go hunting:
– Why didn’t you shoot that partridge?
So you could knock her down!
– It flew so slowly that I thought it was not fresh.
Exam at the Faculty of Biology.
The student enters, receives a tray with insect legs in front of him and is made to recognize which insect each leg belongs to.
He wasn’t doing well at all. Therefore, he gets up and leaves.
The teacher wants to pass his grade in his notebook, but he doesn’t know his name, and that’s why he calls him.
The door opens, a foot appears and you hear:
– Guess!
Do you know why there were so few survivors from the Titanic?
Because when they got on board, they saw a big announcement:
The elderly, women and children who paid the ticket in cash and not in installments would be the first to occupy the lifeboats in case of a shipwreck.
– Last night, at the cinema, there was a power cut.
So I stayed with the light off for a quarter of an hour.
– And there was no panic?
– Panic occurred when the light in the hall came on again and no one was reading funny jokes.
A Catholic priest also speaks:
I never throw a cigarette on the floor when I smoke on the balcony.
I am afraid that it could be blown away by the wind and into an open window, a fire will start, gas cylinders will explode, many people will die, the investigation will begin, and when they determine that I am guilty, they will show on TV.
And look how my mother can find out that I smoke.
A driver recovers after a serious accident and hears:
– Scissors, thread, knot cut.
– Am I so badly hurt? He moaned.
– No, son, we only sew your wings. We just don’t make funny jokes in Heaven!
– Your book entitled “1000 recipes for bachelors” will not have any searches!
– Why?
– It is completely discouraging. Almost all recipes start with “get a clean bowl”
It’s better to write one with funny jokes!
The boss to his employees:
– I wouldn’t want you to look at me as a boss, but as a friend who is always right and who doesn’t like to hear funny jokes about him.
– Dad, I’m getting married!
– With whom?
– Do you know little Johnny, our neighbor? I chose him.
– My dear, this boy is miserable, orphaned by his parents, poor, he doesn’t even know funny jokes
– But dad, I’m not looking for boys with money.
You have enough.
– It’s not about that, my dear, but fate beat him anyway.
Do you want to put a lid on it?
Excursion to the Chornobyl nuclear power plant.
Behind a window, two employees in protective suits carefully carry a small tube of about two centimeters. One of the visitors asks:
– Really, two hands for such a small tube?
What will happen if that tube falls on the floor?
– In principle, nothing. Within a radius of 2000 km!
The police declared that weapons were found hidden behind the shelf of funny joke books in the library in a bad city.
All peoples are in a state of shock. No one knew that there was a library in that city.
Maria to John:
– Little Johnny, how do you say: fun or funny?
John: For what?
– Tell the truth, accused! Because she interrupted you while you were reading funny jokes, did you hit your wife with the chair from the dining room table or not?
– Yes
– And you’re not sorry?
– Yes, I just bought the chair two days ago.
– Doctor, what should I do? I can neither drink nor eat except once a month.
– At what prices are they? You can only be happy, lady!
The best jokes of the day
Is there anyone who doesn’t love reading or learning funny jokes?
We don’t think anyone will answer in the affirmative, so without further ado, we offer you some examples of good banks to start your day the right way.
Funny adult jokes
A wife also calls the doctor: My husband has been for half an hour.
If I tell him that he has no money left on his card, will he pass it, or will it hit him harder?
If the man is silent, he is called a thinker.
If the woman is silent, the thinker has made her sick, and it’s better to read funny adult jokes!
The definition of a faithful wife is the woman who makes the cross sign before leaving the house to go to her lover.
The best jokes for couples
British researchers have determined that 50% of Americans have an extramarital relationship. This means that if you don’t have it, your wife does.
Ma, Gheorghe, have you heard that in African tribes, they sell their wives?
Would you sell me?
– What father are you talking about there? Are you playing funny jokes on me? I would never sell you: I would give you a gift!
Jokes that are funny any time
A piece of advice for men who are getting married: never laugh at your wife’s choices! And you are one of them!
– My mother-in-law was at the viper exhibition yesterday!
– And?
– He took first place!
Bartender:
– Your wife is gorgeous. What would you like to drink?
– Give me exactly what you drank too because you started telling funny jokes!
The husband, concentrating on solving some integrals, asks his wife:
– The first man, four letters?
– Alex!
– Why did you kill your wife after 30 years of marriage?
– Laziness, I kept saying:
leave it until tomorrow, leave it until the day after tomorrow, and by the time I made up my mind, years had passed.
Funny jokes kids
At school:
– Johnny, why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
How do you fix a broken tomato?
Stick it with a little ketchup!
Why can’t dinosaurs clap when they read funny kid jokes?
– Because they have been dead for 65 million years!
Jokes that are funny but also surprising
Two muffins were in an oven. One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s quite warm here.” The other one starts shouting: “Wow, a talking muffin!”
I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day. All he did was collect dust.
What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They are purple, except for the rabbit.
Did you hear the news about the claustrophobic astronaut? It seems he just needed a little space.
What is the name of an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
Why can’t a nose be 30 cm long? Because then it would be a leg.
What did the mime say to his audience? Nothing.
Do you want to hear two funny jokes, short and one long? Joke, joke, joker.
Why are the blonde jokes so short? So that men can remember them.
What is the main cause of dry skin? The towel.
Very funny jokes
What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car?
“Robin, get in the car. Then, at the first intersection, start telling funny jokes”.
Two men meet on opposite banks of a river. One shout:
“I need you to help me get to the other side!” The other guy yells:
“Are you crazy?
You’re already on the other side!”
What did the zebra say the first time he saw a piano?
“Dad, is that you?”
Why don’t dinosaurs talk?
Because they disappeared 65 million years ago.
Why does a woman look like a grenade?
You just have to remove the ring and boom. The house is gone!
About 10-15 years ago, cosmetic surgery was still considered taboo.
Still, now, when you talk about Botox, no one raises an eyebrow.
– I just bought a new hearing aid.
I paid 1000 dollars for it, but it’s the coolest!
– And what model is it?
– Half past twelve!
Teacher: Can you think of a solution that could end unemployment?
Student: Of course, sir. I would put the men on one island and the women on another.
The teacher: And what would he do then?
The student: They would build boats, and everyone would have worked.
Good jokes to say
At the court, the judge to the accused:
– Out of 365 days, you have 364 crimes! Do you have any justification?
– Yes, one day, I was sick in bed, and I read good jokes!
Bula, after the first class of Natural Sciences:
– I learned yesterday at school that water has no smell, taste, or color.
But it is not true, a big lie!
– Why do you say that?
– Because yesterday I put a glass of water in my father’s beer, and he immediately noticed.
– Today’s youth dress terribly! For example, this young man.
– Please, this is my daughter!
– Excuse me, I didn’t even know you were her father.
– I’m not a father. I’m a mother…
– How do you get rid of mad cow disease?
– By quick divorce!
Husband to wife, during a marital dispute:
– What an idiot you are!
– Of course, I’m an idiot.
If I was married to a priest, I was a priestess!”
– My dear, what do you prefer, a beautiful or intelligent woman?
– Neither one nor the other, you only know that I love only you.
– Waiter, what wine do you recommend for our wedding anniversary today?
– It depends, sir, do you want to celebrate or do you want to forget.
At Radio Yerevan, a more curious listener of his kind asks:
– Oxen get married too, don’t they?
The presenter answers him with a deep sigh:
– Yes, sir! Only oxen.
-My love, because today is Valentine’s Day, I would like you to describe your love for me.
– It’s like counting the stars.
– Oh, you mean infinite?
– No, just a waste of time.
Advertisement in the classifieds:
“Encyclopedia Britannica for sale, 50 volumes, exceptional quality, bound in Cordoba leather, perfect condition.
Price $1,000 or more.
I don’t need it anymore.
I got married last week, and my wife knows everything.
I suspect I will soon give up on Google as well.”
My wife and I were happy for 25 years.
Later we met and then married.
Short benches
They say that if cats could answer your phone messages, they probably wouldn’t.
Behind every man whom all women covet, one has had enough of him and given him the slipper.
There are four kinds of men worldwide, three of which do not understand women: the young, the mature and the old.
The already dead are excluded from here.
It is not true that I am addicted to shopping!
On the contrary, I support the national economy, even the international one!
Short dry jokes
199. The greatest fear of the novel is small.
The low salary, the low leave, to receive the low without mustard.
The paradox of poverty these days:
You have a super-performing phone, which you can check online that you don’t have any money in your account!!
I don’t know how you are, but I would like to know when the intelligent man woke up who said:
“A good day is known in the morning”.
I changed my sound from the car horn to machine gun sounds.
Look how quickly people are moving aside now.
When life gives you lemons, sell them and buy some wine.
Very funny jokes are only good for making your day better.
Who doesn’t like to laugh?
Especially if it’s about very funny jokes that make you feel better after a hard day full of challenges.
Let’s see which ones from the selection below are to your liking.